If a Red Demon Fell from the Sky
by God Emperor Penguin
Summary: At his father's orders, Ikari Shinji arrives in Tokyo-3 when the fiery demon, Soryu Asuka Langley, parachutes in from the sky. After some misunderstandings, Asuka and Shinji find themselves both friends and rivals: working together duo-piloting Eva Unit-01 against the Angel menace. But Asuka finds there's more to Unit-01 than anyone realizes... A What-If Retelling.
1. When a Demon Falls from the Sky

**Disclaimer :** _I do not own Evangelion. Please do not sue me._

* * *

**Chapter One**

_When a Demon Falls from the Sky  
_

* * *

"Due to the present state of emergency, all phone lines are currently disabled. Please seek the nearest shelter-" _Thud_.

Ikari Shinji let out a sigh.

"So much for that plan..." Shinji muttered to himself.

Tokyo-3 has been called many things: the '_Shining Jewel of Humanity_', '_Bastion of Hope_', '_Bulwark of Mankind_'. But after three hours since last seeing another living soul, Shinji thought of another epithet for the Eternal City of Technology - '_Largest-City-on-Earth-But-Really-It's-Pretty-Empty _'. Okay, Shinji is not very clever with names.

Taking care to walk around an innocent can an otherwise normal teenager would have kicked down the deserted streets, Shinji sat on a bus bench. With public transit ceasing all operations, phone services disabled and not a soul in sight, Shinji was a bit lost at what to do.

After arriving, he did not find the lack of people disturbing. Rather, it was inconvenient. After all, when he tried to get enter a nearby community shelter to ask for directions, the power-drunk volunteer shelter leader demanded bribes and tits. Neither of which Shinji had to offer.

"I could... " Shinji wondered to himself aloud as he surveyed the area. "...just run away..."

Around him he saw nothing that could help his situation. A flock of doves taking flight from the power lines. The traffic lights flickered yellow heralding caution. A cute blue-haired girl down the middle of the street distorted by the heat haze...

Wait.

Cute blue-haired girl?

"H-hey!" Shinji shouted as he ran towards the figure in the middle of the empty street.

And in a blink of an eye, she was gone.

"Oh... must have been my imagination," Shinji told himself as he stood where the girl should be. "She did look a bit like mother..."

Sighing for the seventeenth time this past hour, Shinji withdrew a photo from his pocket. The image showed a woman at the beach in loose fitting clothes with an ample demonstration of superior cleavage. Over the top of the photo was the title '_image for reference! Misato!_' with a smaller note and arrow pointed towards her chest that read '_important assets to note!_'

Shinji tilted his head at the picture and remembered why he was here in the first place.

After nearly three years of silence between himself and his father, Ikari Gendo, Shinji received a simple command: _come immediately to Tokyo-3. I have a use for you_.

It was a bit embarrassing to describe the emotions Shinji felt as he read it. A mixture of anger and anguish of the first words from his sole living parent being orders. Yet, there was a slight tinge of happiness. At least his father wanted to meet him. At least his father wanted to see him. At least his father... wanted... him.

Shinji closed his eyes and sighed for the eighteenth time this hour, before he felt the warm rays of the sun cease shining on his head.

Shade.

Huh? Was it a cloud? Shinji looked up.

"Hey! Watch out! Get out of the way-"

And saw a pair of white panties as they collided with his face.

"Umphf! Watch where you're standing, dork! Goddamn. Are you an idiot or something?" Shinji attempted to muster a retort.

"Get... off-air!" Shinji begged from beneath Asuka's panties.

"Gah! _ Pervert_! Sexual deviant! Disgusting degenerate!" A female's voice screamed at him as she leaped off him. Shinji breathed a sigh of relief as his oxygen crisis was resolved. Struggling to get himself to his feet, Shinji felt through a sheet of plastic and cloth wrapped around him.

"Mind getting out of my parachute now?" the fiery girl snapped.

Shinji stood speechless as he looked up at her. The girl was a goddess to the normal plebeians that walked this earth. Flowing strawberry blonde hair with a pair of exotic clips on either side of her head. Blue eyes that were reeked of anger. And wearing a rather adorable Catholic schoolgirl uniform complete with tie and green-red plaid skirt.

"Beautiful..." Shinji whispered to himself.

Much to the horror of the girl.

_Slap_!

"What did you say? _Beautiful_? Sicko pervert deviant. I'll see it you're added to the sex-offender registry with a shock collar attached to your ankles for the rest of your miserable life!" The girl was now covering herself with her arms as though Shinji was eagerly undressing her with his eyes.

"What? No-no! Sorry. I mean-What I meant was... sorry- never mind... parachute...?" Shinji held up the plastic sheet with one hand and his cheek in the other.

The girl narrowed her eyes. "Don't apologize," she said as she tossed back her hair. "I shouldn't have gotten so angry. It was rather ungraceful to be so bothered by the universal truth that I am God's greatest gift to humankind. So naturally I'm beautiful," she finished with a smirk.

That's a not so big of a stretch, Shinji thought silently to himself.

"What were you doing parachuting in like that?"

The girl's rage had nearly subsided. It was now replaced with an irritated mood and she began explaining in an annoyed tone. "The city's suppose to be in a state of emergency and everyone to the shelters. I can parachute in where I want. Not like I was expecting _someone to be standing in the middle of the street_," she snapped.

"S-sorry."

"You better be sorry. Shouldn't you be in a shelter or something?"

"They're all full and won't let me in... s-sorry-"

"Stop apologizing for every little thing. Do you even have a spine?"

"Y-yes. Doesn't every-"

"Not_ that_ one! The _metaphorical_ one!" The girl rolled her eyes at Shinji's attempt to point to his backbone. God, this wimpy boy would have better off as a jellyfish. No one in their right minds would bother being around his kid for a second. Better off having him sent to the pound and put to sleep and pray to whatever Hindu god that reincarnates people to tape worms and slugs. Better get rid of him quic-

"Soryu Asuka Langley. You can address me as Soryu." Asuka's eyes widened slightly from shock as her mouth betrayed her. She just introduced herself to this worthless boy. A boy who wouldn't hold a candle to the love-of-her-life, Kaji.

"A-ah. Miss Soryu. I am Ikari Shinji." Asuka wiggled her nose at the name. Sounded awfully familiar... oh well, probably not important.

"Alright sex offender Shinji, where are you off to on this fine totally-not-dangerous day in this totally-not-dangerous place?" Asuka mused.

"I'm not a sex offender," Shinji replied with a hint of annoyance.

"You're absolutely right! You're not a sexy offender y_et_. Hey don't give me that look. Alright, alright. Bad joke. What are you doing here anyways, sex-deviant Ikari?"

Sighing, the poor boy replied. "I'm suppose to meet someone but she never showed up. Then I wandered around for a few hours. Then you landed on me-"

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"You mean you got in the way of my landing."

"What? No, I didn't- Oh never mind. Yes, I got in the way of your landing. And now I'm here with you, Miss Soryu."

Asuka brought a hand up to her chin in deep thought. Her situation wasn't much different from the boy's. A few hours ago she was in NERV-Branch in Berlin enjoying the comforts of being a distinguished Evangelion pilot - an elite position offered only to the most deserving and selective of candidates. Then she received word that the NERV-HQ in Tokyo-3 desperately requiring her presence ahead of schedule.

Asuka was not told the exact specifics of the situation. But she was prepared for the worst.

A two hour flight in the fastest jet the German Air Force could offer followed by an emergency jettison due to engine failure resulted in her current situation.

"Well, people are looking for me," Asuka assured, though to who in particular was not certain. "I've got to get to NERV-HQ. I'll have you know I'm a pretty important person-"

"NERV-HQ? I'm trying to find my way there too. We're heading the same direction, then. The Geofront, right?" Catching the mortified look of Asuka, Shinji began to profusely apologize.

What? This wimpy kid is heading towards NERV-HQ? What the hell _for_? Asuka thought to herself. Looking the boy once over, she determined to herself he would be of no use militarily in such an emergency. Civilians would have been sent to shelters or evacuated. Only reason she could think of for some kid like him heading to NERVHQ during a crisis was...

And before Shinji knew it, he was on his chest with his arms pinned to his backpack.

"Ha! I knew there were extremist elements out in this backwater country trying to infiltrate NERV-HQ. Seizing an opportunity in a moment of crisis, huh? Clever... but you didn't factor in Soryu Asuka Langley! Didn't think I'd find a spy so quickly! Luckily, I'm constantly vigilante for scum like you," Asuka congratulated to herself as she sat down on her prey. Asuka pulled off her necktie and used it to tie Shinji's arms together.

"W-what? I really was told to go to NERV-HQ! I'm not a spy!"

"Ha! _Precisely_ what a spy would say!"

"No! It's _precisely_ what a normal person would say!" Asuka would hear none of it as she finished the knots and kicked the boy back up on his feet.

"Come on. Get up, criminal scum. First notorious pervert and now traitor-spy of humanity. How low can you sink?" Asuka began kicking the back of Shinji's knees towards a random direction.

"I'm telling you I'm not a spy!"

* * *

"I'm... telling you... I'm not a spy... Miss Soryu please..." Shinji begged with a watery mouth and weary eyes.

Beside him, the Red Demon was seated on a bench enjoying a nice late lunch.

It was over two hours since the red demon began leading them, painfully directionless, towards NERV-HQ. The afternoon march through dead ends and empty streets in the eternal summer heat was devastating to the already poorly athletic Shinji. He was thirsty, exhausted and hungry from nearly a day's worth of travel and lack of adequate meals. Asuka had just finished looting-correction, _appropriated from_-a convenience store. She decided to enjoy three packed lunches, a few energy drinks and a hearty helping of packaged cookies.

And Shinji's eyes begged each time Asuka took a clump of rice and fried chicken into her mouth.

"What is it, criminal scum? Hungry?" Shinji nodded eagerly. "Well sorry, you lost your right to food the moment you decided to _spy_."

"I'm telling you... Miss Soryu... I'm not a spy. Please... just some water..." Shinji eyed the mineral water standing idle beside the girl.

Asuka eyed him carefully. Then sighed to herself as she went back into the store feeling Shinji's needy eyes following her.

Spy or not, he was a human being. And prisoners of war must be treated humanely...

"M-miss Soryu? W-what's this?"

Asuka smirked to herself as she set the piece down in front of her. She could stretch the definition of humanely.

"It's a doggie bowl," Asuka stated confidently as she unscrewed the mineral water. "Luckily the convenience store had a few on shelf."

"B-but I'm not a dog."

"Be happy you're even getting this," Asuka said as she filled the bowl. Shinji sighed in utter defeat before leaning over to drink with whatever little dignity he had left.

Asuka found it amusing to see the spectacle but grew bored of it quick. Realizing the wimp had a backpack that she neglected to scrounge through the contents of, Asuka reached over and began sorting through it while Shinji was still face deep in the bowl.

"Hmm... SDAT player. Some books on cooking... Ew, underwear..._ oh ho oh_, what's this?" Asuka mused to herself as she found an interesting object. A picture...

"Hey! Miss Soryu please! Don't touch that!" Shinji barked as he did his best to retrieve the picture with his teeth. He began chomping in the air as he edged close towards the picture which Asuka held above her head.

Shinji's face was dripping from his earlier attempts to drink water. Droplets of mineral water fell onto her white cotton shirt, gently dampening it. Had Shinji continued this, it may have revealed the white bra that encased the rather disappointing bust size of Soryu Asuka Langley.

None of this really bothered Asuka, the teasing was far too fun.

"Please-_chomp_!-Miss Soryu-_chomp_!-It's not funny! _Chomp_, _chomp_, _chomp_!"

Asuka was all smiles. "This is far too fun you-"

Then Shinji's mouth got dangerously close to Asuka's face. His breath tickled her nose and lips.

_Slap_!

"-sexual... deviant..." Asuka muttered to herself as she panted. She looked over at the boy crumpled up on the ground struggling to get up. Ignoring his plight, Asuka looked at the picture.

It was a beautiful woman.

The woman in the photo appeared young and vibrant. Full of life with short brown hair and kind eyes. She looked... angelic.

"Hey sex-deviant. Who's this?" Asuka brought a hand to her chin in an attempt to disguise her curiosity as she waved the picture at the boy laying on the ground.

"That's my mother..."

Asuka's eyes widened. For such a beautiful woman to have such a wimpy kid... his dad must have brought down the genetic quality hard.

"Where is she now?"

"She's dead, Miss Soryu," Shinji stated as managed to sit upright and attempted to balance his shaken legs to stand up.

What is this sensation? Asuka wondered to herself. A sense of pity? Was it... condolences? No... it was something else entirely... A feeling someone can feel only if they've experienced what you've experienced... a connection that binds two souls.

_Empathy_.

"Here. I'll tease your urges just this once," Asuka sighed watching Shinji struggle vainly to stand up. Putting the photo back into her skirt pocket, she walked over to the boy.

"Just don't throw away the photo. It's the only one I have. And I don't have any urges to teas-ah!" Shinji felt Asuka's slender arms underneath his armpits as she helped him up and sat him down on the bench.

Shinji watched in silent shock as Asuka began opening the last of the packed lunch meals. A fried chicken set consisting of a macaroni salad, slice of cucumber, tomato and egg with the titular fried chicken pieces resting on a bed of lettuce. The sight of such deliciousness made Shinji realize his persistent hunger.

At least Asuka didn't have to tell Shinji to open his gaping mouth.

"Asuka what are-dommfgh!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full, idiot," as Asuka averted her eyes back down to the lunch, preparing a second delivery of a mouth of delicious goodness.

"Miss Soryu?" Shinji's bewildered eyes widened. Did a pretty girl just...

"Enjoy it, idiot. You're the first person I've ever had to feed. You know mortals would kill for the honor," Asuka huffed smugly as she sent expedition number two into Shinji's open mouth.

"I a-appreciate it, Miss Soryu," Shinji thanked.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "Can't have the Geneva Conventions get on my case about starving a prisoner of war."

"P-prisoner of war? What?"

Asuka brought a finger to her bottom lip and looked up thoughtfully.

"Then again, spies aren't considered lawful combatants you aren't afforded such protection... I suppose I could torture you..."

"T-torture!? Miss Soryu, please..."

"Ah, but then all that blood... I don't want to smell like a corpse for a week..."

Shinji froze in horror, his eyes going to a distant dream world visualizing in great detail the terror this woman could unleash. Images of whips and spikes in a dungeon where Miss Soryu demanded she be called _The Mistress_. And today _The Mistress_ was wearing black lace...

"Black lace..." Shinji said absentmindedly.

"Black... lace...? W-what...? _Pervert_!" _Slap_!

"Ow!"

"I knew it! I knew it! This country is full of disgusting criminal deviants that run around amok trying to get every girl to fit their sick twisted fantasies!"

"Says the girl in the Catholic schoolgirl outfit..." _Slap_!

"I happened to be in school when I was called over here to this frickin' country."

"'_This_' country? Where are you from?" _Slap_!

"Germany, you deviant-idiot. I was enjoying a nice lecture on the inner workings of metaphysical biology in Munich a few hours ago-"

"'_'Munich'_? You went from Germany to Japan in like an hour? _Who_ are you?" Shinji winced and cowered in anticipation of a retribution slap.

Instead, Asuka tossed back her hair with an arrogant smirk.

"I am Soryu Asuka Langley, pilot of Evangelion Unit-02, first combat model Eva-"

"What's an Evangelion?"

Asuka's eyes widened. Oh crap, she realized. _That_ wasn't suppose to be publicly known. _That_ of course being the multi-trillion dollar secret bio-organic weapon: Evangelion.

Looking at the boy once over, she shrugged.

Even if he was a spy, everyone will know about the Evas sooner or later.

"The Evangelion is a secret weapon developed by NERV meant to combat the Angels. The Angels of course being-"

"Giant floating alien humanoid-like monsters that are out to destroy mankind?"

"Stop interrupting me." Asuka squinted her eyes. "You sure you're not a spy?" Asuka accused as she gave Shinji a glare.

"S-sorry...b-but..." Shinji began nodding his head, as his arms were still tied behind his back, in the direction behind Asuka.

Asuka turned around. Some twenty blocks away, loomed a giant humanoid being with a bone-like mask floating in midair. A red orb on its chest and strange organs were breathing on its thigh. A small fleet of helicopters surrounded it and a screeching hail of missiles began approaching it.

The Third Angel - _Sachiel_.

In an instant came an onslaught of missiles, rockets and heavy ordinance from the UN-JSSDF Combined Third Army.

"_Asuka_! _Run_!"

_Booom_!

* * *

"Go faster damn you!" Asuka screamed at the steering wheel as though it were a steed that heeded the frustrated commands of its owner.

The desperate pair of teenagers were now driving through the windy hill roads away from the giant monster. Asuka, through quick thinking, managed to shove her captive-or is it hostage?-into a nearby red car and quickly hot-wired it. Although a rather simple skill acquired for the sake of practical emergencies, the situation at hand unhinged her nerves causing the action to take a few seconds longer than it should have.

And this took quite a toll on her sanity.

"Alright... that thing being here explains a lot," Asuka muttered to herself. Now she realized why she was urgently needed at NERV-HQ in this godforsaken country filled with perverts. The sole Japanese person she found in this foreign land was currently huddled in the passenger seat, arms still bound behind him, with his knees brought up to his face.

"What's wrong with you?" Asuka cursed herself afterwards. The intensity of the situation made her come off as harsh.

"We forgot my backpack..." Shinji stated dejectedly.

"There wasn't anything important in there, just some underwear and an outdated SDAT player. I can buy you a new one if you want. Hell, I'll even sing a few songs for you."

Shinji shook his head. "It's not that."

"Then what the hell could it be?"

"That was the only photo I had my mother, Miss Soryu."

Asuka's grip on the steering wheel loosened. Her fingers turned cold. That feeling again. That feeling of empathy. Asuka looked over at the boy. Poor kid lost his mom, might have knew her better than Asuka knew her own mother.

Then Asuka remembered.

Parking the car on the side, Asuka removed the bindings on Shinji's arms.

"Thanks for undoing these out of pity," Shinji thanked soft as he held up his wrist. "But it... s-sorry."

"Stop apologizing and stop being so gloomy, idiot. And it wasn't for pity," Asuka said as she fumbled through her skirt pocket. Shinji's eyes widened in amazement.

"M-miss Soryu!" Shinji's eyes began tearing as his hands shivered. He gently took hold of the photo, holding it as it were made of ethereal cloth that would dissipate in a moment of rough contact.

Asuka rolled her eyes. "I-it's not l-like I kept s-safe it for you or a-anything," she stuttered. A strange tingly sensation in her chest was getting on her nerves and affecting her speech mannerisms. She made a mental note to get it checked out.

"Thank you, Miss Soryu. It means a lot to me. I'm in your debt." Asuka blushed a crimson hue as her mind raced to the many _different_ ways she could be repaid...

"Y-you can c-call me A-Asuka," she stated looking away from him as she worked began restarting the car.

"Why?"

Asuka nearly ran off a cliff, realizing she just offered such intimacy with a boy she barely met.

"B-because it's my treat. Y-you called me Asuka when that Angel attacked right? I owe you for the heads up. B-but in exchange I get to call you whatever I w-want."

"S-sure," Shinji smiled as he went back to admiring the treasured photo. "Thank you, Asuka."

Asuka breathed a sigh of relief. Out of the corner of the eye she saw Shinji still looking at the photo, no doubt trying to scorch the image into his mind.

"You know you can get that scanned and uploaded into some databank. So you can never lose it."

Shinji blinked.

"I'm not very good with computers," Shinji admitted with embarrassment.

"I'll hold your hands through it," Asuka offered quietly. Was that a Freudian slip...

"R-really? Thank you again, Miss Sor-I mean-Asuka."

Asuka breathed in deeply as she sunk back into the seat as they drove into a tunnel that read '_Entrance to NERV-HQ_'. The leather was irritating her sweaty backside.

* * *

"Are you sure we aren't lost, Asuka?" Though Shinji had to admit Asuka was an impressive beauty with an eccentric array of skills and hobbies, he found her to be lacking directionally.

The entrance to NERV-HQ had given them an elevator ride to the Geofront, a massive subterranean cavity that housed the headquarters of NERV, Central Dogma.

"Of course we're not lost, idiot! We just don't know where we are."

You realize how bad that looks on paper, Shinji thought to himself. Sighing, he continued following her until she began screaming curses.

"Another dead-end! Are you kidding me? I memorized the entire map of this place! This should be the main transit hub!"

Then Asuka let loose a furious scream that would wake the dead from hell."I swear with God as my witness I'll axe murder the architects who designed this damned place!"

"R-really, Asuka?" Asuka looked back in fury and Shinji was met with two demonic-possessed blue eyes.

"Axe. _Murder_."

"O-okay..."The pair continued down a catwalk overlooking what appeared to be a bottomless pit.

"I swear, if this were NERV-Branch Germany, we'd at least _find_ someone by now. You know, we actually have _people_ to staff our bases. Not endless dead-ends and mazes for hallways."

Asuka was fuming as she looked back towards her traveling partner who was a good distance was grasping the handrails with both arms, eyes shut and moving slowly.

"What's holding you up?" Asuka inquired, doing her best to mellow out her anger at the situation towards Shinji.

"S-sorry," Shinji apologized as he slowly opened his eyes towards Asuka's approach.

"Afraid of heights, idiot?"

"Y-yeah... s-sorry," Shinji apologized. Asuka rolled her eyes.

Then she began stomping on the catwalk.

"A-Asuka! Asuka, please!" Shinji cried as he desperately clung to the handrails as the shock waves emanating from Asuka's foot reached him.

Laughing menacingly to herself she let out one final stomp.

Before she herself toppled onto the ground from the earthquake landing on her back, grabbing the handrail for support. Shinji clung to them even more furiously on his knees.

The fighting is getting closer to the Central Dogma, Asuka thought to herself. Just when I was having fun-oh wait. Now's not the time to be having fun. Something something, Angel's attacking and saving the world and crap, Asuka thought to herself. Best not waste anymore time finding someone...

Asuka eyed her rather heavy baggage of a companion and decided perhaps her teasing was beginning to be detrimental.

"Here," Asuka looked away in the distance as she offered her hand to the terrified boy.

Shinji blinked at her soft hand with slender digits. Confusion to the situation was all over his face.

"Be grateful. You must surely be blessed by the heavens themselves. Not only do you get the honor of being fed by me, I'm letting you hold my hand," Asuka huffed.

"T-thank you," Shinji reached for it and clasped it tightly.

"Ugh," Asuka muttered to herself. Shinji apologized immediately. "Sweaty palms..." Shinji immediately attempted to release Asuka's hand.

"S-sorry, Asuka. You don't have to-"

"Shut it. Apologize one more time and I'll throw you into the bottomless pit," Asuka stated as she tugged Shinji along. Her grip on his hand tightened and her fingers intertwined with his.

This is nice, the pair of teenagers thought. The consensus they reached was independently achieved. Shinji kept his gaze low and smiled, it was the first time he's ever held a girl's hand. Asuka herself gave an arrogant smirk. Holding a guy's hand isn't so hard, she assured herself who was just as inexperienced as Shinji. First this little wimps, next will be her destined spouse, Kaji!

"You're no Kaji..." Asuka muttered under her breath as they neared the end of the catwalk.

"I'm not Kaju-what now?" Shinji inquired.

"Kaji. He's... H-he's my...b-boyfriend back in NERV-Branch Germany." Shinji's eyes widened in horror and he began releasing his grip from Asuka's hand.

"What's wrong, idiot?" Asuka brought both her hands to her hips as she stared down the idiot who stepped back away from her.

"S-sorry. I didn't know you had a b-b-b-bo-bo-"

"A boyfriend?" Asuka tilted her head innocently. "What a boring kid you are," Asuka scoffed as she tossed her hair back. "Of course someone as beautiful as myself would have a boyfriend." Asuka closed her eyes and smiled arrogantly.

"S-s-sorry. I just didn't think it was right to-"

"It's fine. It's just holding hands. After all my Kaji is thirty years old and mature. Rich too. He'll understand. Not like I was sleeping with you or anything."

Shinji's eyes went low. Ah, he realized. Of course a girl like her would be doing things like that. With someone... older and mature. Not a spineless wimp like himself who's afraid of heights. Shinji looked at her again. She was beautiful, he admitted to himself and she was in a relationship with someone named Kaji.

For some reason, he felt hurt.

"H-hey. Come on, idiot. Don't be like that." Asuka nervously attempted to assure him as she reached out her hand again. "It's alright. He'll understand. Just take my hand-"

"_No_!" Shinji cried.

And then, another earthquake shattered the structure.

The catwalk was breaking apart, and Asuka stood teetering on the slowly breaking edge, her balance lost by the shock and speed of the quake. And Shinji whispered his personal mantra to himself.

"_I wasn't run away_."

His fear of the heights had dulled the strength of his legs but Shinji found something to drive him. A taste of courage to empower him. Adrenaline and blood rushed through his body as he marshaled his strength.

And pushed Asuka off the collapsing catwalk and onto the stable ridge of the pit.

"You _idiot_!" Auska screamed as Shinji realized what he had just miraculously accomplished.

In an instant, a twinkling, Shinji had vanished from Asuka's view deep into the darkness of the pit.

"You idiot! You idiot, you idiot, you idiot... _You idiot_!" Asuka looked over the edge and screamed into the darkness, only to be replied with by echoes.

"Dirty disgusting deviant! You goddamn moron! Unlovable jellyfish coward! Goddamn you! Goddamn you, you idiot!" Asuka's voice was coarse from the screaming.

"You... _idiot_..." Asuka muttered to herself as tears welled up in her eyes. She knew this was not the time to cry. Humanity's survival was on the line. She couldn't be here worrying about some potential pervert, spy, wimpy coward little...no, not those things... she didn't have time to mourn a lost friend.

Soryu Asuka Langley owed Ikari Shinji her life.

Asuka sat at the ridge. A minute, she told herself. She needed a minute to collect her thoughts. A minute to grieve about the boy who she had nearly starved during the last few hours of his life. The boy whom she kept tied up. The boy whom she promised to scan the picture of her dead mother with... the first boy to hold her hand.

Asuka laid down on her back and didn't notice the swooshing of automatic doors and a stampede of footsteps approach her.

"Asuka? Asuka! Oh thank God, we found you," came a elder female voice.

"M-Misato?" Asuka whimpered as she hastily dried her red eyes. The familiar face of Captain Misato Katsuragi, a former handler of hers, graced Asuka's vision.

"Yeah, it's me. Damn it was a bad idea to put you on the experimental jet. When we heard the engine overheated and you had to eject we thought you were gone."

Asuka mumbled a few words.

"At least you're safe... sorry about not sending any search parties. We're a bit stretched in staff as it is. _Technicians_! _Check for damages_!" Misato barked orders to the small group with her as they began hastily running towards terminals and nodes to check for damages.

"How'd you find me?"

"You realize how loud you screamed just now?"

Asuka blushed with embarrassment.

"Sorry... I found someone to tag along with me... and now he's..." Asuka's eyes followed the destroyed catwalk.

"I'm sorry, we can have a nice funeral for him later but for now we have to get going."

Asuka quickly dried her tears. "Let's go then, Captain."

"I'll tell you the situation once we hit the Unit-01 cage." Asuka had a fair idea of what to expect. She was going to pilot...

They left the technicians to their work as Misato guided Asuka deeper into the innermost sanctums of Central Dogma. After a lull in silence, Misato decided to break it with a simple question.

"What was your companion's name?" Misato asked politely.

"Ikari Shinji..." Asuka replied.

"Shinji... _Ikari_?" It did not escape Asuka's notice as a look of fear and shock crept on Misato's face.

"Oh goddamn shi-"

* * *

"Wait, let me get this straight," Asuka said as she followed along a visibly shaken Misato down through the corridors towards the cages.

"You were suppose to pick up this Ikari Shinji, son of Commander Ikari, to use as a reserve pilot in case I didn't arrive in time. But you _forgot to pick him up_?"

"It really slipped my mind," Misato said absentmindedly with a twinge of guilt in her voice. "Kind of busy and all here..."

"Are you serious, Misato?"

"That's Captain Misato. Thank you very much," Misato replied irritably.

Asuka sighed. Her perceptions of that wimpy kid from before were quite ruined. Commander Ikari was known for his fearsome reputation as heartless and calculating strategist. He was capable of political intrigue, sound military tactics and brutally efficient command. Perhaps spines didn't run in the family...

"You sure this kid wasn't some kind of spy?"

"Psych profile said he could barely talk to kids his age. Can't imagine him communicating secrets that well."

"Massive idiot?"

"He passed the exams for a rather prestigious high school with a top five score."

"Sex deviant?"

"Kid squirms around girls like they're the plague. Had a panic attack when he got Valentines chocolates in fourth grade from a rather cute girl." Asuka choked town a tinge of jealousy.

"Oh and then there was that time in junior high when Shinagawa Eriko took him out behind the school gym to confess-"

"_Enough_!" Asuka roared, not wanting to hear more about Ikari Shinji's past romantic misadventures.

"_Oh ho oh_! Jealous are we?" Misato commented with a hand over mouth, poorly hiding her massive grin. "You know... psych profiles says the First Child, Rei, is much more compatible with Shinji as a potential mate. We even ran a few scenarios through MAGI on the possibility-"

"Shut up. No!" Asuka cringed and fumed at the prospect of mating with that idiot.

"Well, it's probably not much a competition considering Rei is still in the infirmary. She got roughed up a bit with the Unit-00 test trials..." Asuka rolled her eyes and continued her criticism of the whole scenario being played out by supposedly the most competent organization to ever exists ever: NERV.

"So knowing all this about the kid, you somehow thought that since I may not have arrived in time, _which I did by the way_, you'd use an untested, untrained boy who has as much of a backbone as a jellyfish to pilot a giant bio-organic robot he's never seen or heard before of in his entire life against the greatest threat humankind has ever _faced_?"

"Well, when you put it like that, anything would sound stupid," Misato smoothly replied as she opened the door to the cages.

"That's because _it is_!" Asuka screeched as they entered the cages into the shadow of the great purple humanoid battle system: the Evangelion Unit-01.

"We didn't have much of a choice..." Misato looked back at the young red-haired teenager as they walked down the center of the catwalk. "Oh god," Misato moaned as a realization struck her. "Oh god...dammit."

"What?"

"I'm going to have to tell the Commander his son passed away."

"Unfortunate," a voice commented. "But I'm sure the Commander will endure." The owner was a short-haired blonde in a lab coat who carried a strict air of professionalism.

"Doctor Akagi," Asuka recognized the face and immediately bowed. Though she had never met her personally, Asuka was immensely respectful towards the famous genius, Akagi Ritsuko, who continued the work of her equally-genius mother, Akagi Naoko, in producing the MAGI supercomputer and the Evangelion development.

But the comment left a poor first impression on Asuka.

"Ritsuko..." Misato muttered. "Look, I know I messed up-"

"You were careless. No matter, we can feel sad about the tragedy later. We have more pressing concerns at hand right now. We have to get Asuka's metrics into Unit-01 and calibrated."

Misato sighed and looked over at the young red-haired girl.

"You ready to go?"

The Second Child looked up at the giant purple Evangelion Unit-01 before her.

"Yeah," Asuka complied as both older women began making preparations to get Unit-01 operational.

"Alright, Unit-01. I heard you're kind of a bitch to work with but so I am..." Asuka's voice trailed off. "But help me this one time," Asuka's voice lowered. "_For that idiot..._"

Her eyes glowed with an infernal determination, a insatiable thirst to prove her worth... and a dollop of vengeance for a certain wimpy perverted boy-wonder idiot..

* * *

"Okay, sorry for the lack of plug-suit. It really slipped our minds. Sorry," Ritsuko apologized over the intercom.

"It's fine," Asuka muttered as the LCL began filling the entry-plug. Well, I'm never wearing this outfit again, Asuka thought to herself.

"How come you get to be forgiven for neglecting the plug-suit?" Misato retorted.

"My forgetfulness didn't cost the Commander his only son."

Silence over Rituko's brutally sharp retort.

"It is fine... he was expendable and an unreliable factor," Commander Ikari broke the momentary silence. Asuka noted to herself his cold and distant tone. That comment, much like Dr. Akagi's, left a poor impression on the red-haired demon. "Second Child, I'm sure you're fully aware of what awaits you."

"Yes," Asuka affirmed with absolute determination.

"Good, begin the harmonics calibrations and initiation sequences."

"Sir, I must insist. The chances of it actually operating, even with Asuka as the pilot, is less than a percent. Unit-01 hasn't actually been operable for years-"

"We will continue the initiation sequences. We can conduct the preliminary tests later, Dr. Akagi."

"MAGI predicts a solid forty percent chance of Unit-01 going berserk or potentially self destructing from forced apoptosis," Ritsuko stated.

"I'm fully aware."

"Very well then... Asuka, we're beginning the sequence," Ritsuko's voice sounded worried over the intercom. Heh, Asuka thought. Pre-battle nerves must be hitting everyone hard on the command bridge.

Asuka tuned out the intercom noise as various bridge officers began announcing the initiation and ceasing of sequences. All of which were familiar and memorized by the Second Child, well-equipped in knowledge on the Evangelion unit.

"Beginning harmonic synchronization sequence."

"Increasing power supply to max charge."

"Cutting first-order restraints in three, two one... first-order restraints restraints cut. Begin cutting second-order restraints..."

So far, nothing out of the ordinary as the mechanical wonder of the world was slowly released from its cage, Asuka thought smugly to herself. She snuggled deep into the seat as she mused to herself if she could get the Evangelion Unit-01 painted her favorite red.

"Doctor, it seems the Unit-01 is rejecting the pilot," came the reply from bridge bunny, Maya.

"These synchronization scores are poor... Asuka would be lucky to move a finger."

"Just give me a second. I'll get Unit-01 skipping in no ti-"

"Shock wave from surface explosion incoming!"

"Wait, what?" Asuka didn't have time to brace herself as she felt the rumble hit her cockpit in full force. She clutched the control-sticks as she felt the wrath of God come in all its fury. She nearly bit her tongue.

"_Gah_! Wahhh!"

Asuka opened her eyes and in a brief instant she saw him, Ikari Shinji, falling down before her. Separating them was a pool of LCL, the Evangelion and several meters of air as he fell down along with debris and wreckage.

Oh god, Asuka thought. Move damn you, Asuka cursed at Unit-01. _Move_!

And so it moved.

In a flash, the remaining restraints where torn from its bolts and sockets. Shinji landed in the palm of the massive Eva Unit-01. The soft metallic membrane mimicking tender fleshy tissue qualities softening his fall while a protective finger shielded him from further dust and debris.

"An absolute miracle," Ritsuko muttered over the intercom. "It appears your son is alive, Commander Ikari."

"Doctor! Unit-01 is acting on its own!"

"W-what? Impossible!" Asuka watched as she felt the entry-plug eject itself and the massive hand brought near the entry-plug opening.

Shinji fell over onto Asuka's lap into the pool of LCL with a splash.

"_Garble-garble_! _Garble_..." Shinji held his breath as he struggled on Asuka's lap for air.

"Breath you idiot..." Asuka commanded in a low voice, unsure to reprimand the idiot buffoon or hug him.

"Gah! Air!"

"LCL actually," Asuka corrected. "You know a type of direct-blood oxygen delivery fluid."

"How can I-"

"LCL brings oxygen directly to your lungs. Weren't you listening? Whatever. Can you get off my lap now?"

Shinji leaped from Asuka's comfortable lap like it was a heated rock.

"Asuka... were you crying?" Shinji boldly inquired.

"What?" Asuka realized droplets of salty liquid was forming on the edges of her eyes which she quickly wiped away. "No! Just sleepy... you know how it is. Busy and all that."

"Oh. Sorry," came Shinji's flat reply. "You should get some sleep when you can," Shini suggested.

"Whatever, idiot. How the hell did you survive that fall down the bottomless pit anyways?"

"Oh, turns out I landed a rather large mountain of moldy stuffed NERV-limited-edition teddy bears and rolled down some ventilation shaft. Followed it around until an earthquake knocked me down. Then I fell into this robot's hand-"

"Excuse me?"

"What?"

"You mean I caught you."

"I guess-Oh never mind. Sorry. Yes, then you caught me, and then you put me into this LCL room-"

"No I didn't," Asuka puffed.

"Then how did the giant robot you appear to piloting put me into this LCL room-place-thingy?"

"Not me," Asuka shrugged.

Then, chatter from the command bridge filled the entry-plug as it was re-inserted into Eva Unit-01.

"Doctor...," Maya began in amazement as her voice filled the LCL room. "Asuka's synch scores shot up from two points to eighty-five for an instant. In addition, with Ikari Shinji in there now... it seems Unit-01 is stabilizing Asuka's synch rate at seventy points."

"Maya, use the modified Dummy Plug interface for twin pilot synchronization and calibration. Have Asuka as primary pilot with Shinji as secondary pilot. With this... Unit-01 might actually start moving."

"Duo-piloting, Ritsuko? Are you mad?" Misato interjected.

"It's stabilizing Asuka's synch rate with Unit-01. So unless you can get Unit-01 to behave or fly Unit-02 from Germany within two minutes, this is the best shot we have."

"I-I... this..."

"It appears," Commander Ikari interjected in the argument between the two senior bridge officers. "That the reserve pilot, Ikari Shinji, may have some use. Move Eva Unit-01 to the catapult. Prepare for sortie."

"But sir your son-" Misato attempted to protest.

"Will do well to learn firsthand how to pilot an Eva," Commander Ikari finished.

"Asuka, hand Shinji the spare neural clips. We haven't got much time," Ritsuko ordered.

"The Angel is directly above the Geofront. We're deploying you guys now," Misato added.

"Affirmative... Here, put these on, idiot," Asuka plucked a hair of identical white neural clips like the ones she was currently wearing from the side compartment. "You're about to see me do work."

"D-do work? You mean you're piloting the giant robot?"

"Precisely, idiot," Asuka said. "Ugh, this is cramped. Here," Asuka said as she got out of her seat and moved to the side.

"Sit," came her stiff command.

"W-what?"

"Do you want to get tossed around like a rag-doll? Sit on the seat and I'll sit on you," Asuka explained averting her gaze from Shinji's.

"O-oh. O-okay. S-sorry for being a bother," Shinji apologized as he lowered himself onto the seat.

"It's n-not like you're that m-much of a b-bother," Asuka nervously replied as she brought herself onto Shinji's lap.

"Sorry."

"Stop apologizing, dork," Asuka ordered as she fastened the restraints over herself and Shinji. "And I swear if you get a hard-on with me on your lap...I'll..."

Shinji got the hint. "Yes ma'am."

"Good boy," Asuka grinned as she felt the Unit-01 finished being moved to the catapult.

"Yeah, Shinji," Misato concurred through the intercom. "Best leave the wife to do the work. This also applies in bed!" Misato added jokingly.

"_Misato_!" Asuka raged as she and Shinji both blushed a soft crimson.

"Knock 'em dead, Asuka," Misato encouraged, ignoring her earlier comment and the Second Child's rage. "You too Shinji. Sorry for not picking you up on time. If you come out of this alive, I'll even throw in a big smooch for ya."

"_Mi-sa-to_!" A flustered Asuka shouted over the intercom. "That's completely inappropri-"

"_Launch the Eva_!"

Asuka nearly bit her tongue.

* * *

"The Angel doesn't look so scary in this giant mech thing..." Shinji commented as his arms tightened around Asuka's slim waist.

The Angel stood there passively, almost in wonder, of the being before it now. Only a few blocks was all that stood in between them.

"Heh. Damn straight," Asuka growled as she began flexing both hers and the Eva Unit-01's massive arms. There were so many kinks and joints to crack in this rusty old thing... "Hold on tight, boy-wonder. You're about to see an ace pilot-_Wah_!"

Shinji had did just as told, startling the red demon.

"No so tight, idiot..." Asuka whimpered softly.

"S-sorry."

"The umbilical cable is locked in. Power supply looks good. Alright you two, go get 'em!" Misato ordered.

"Alright," Asuka agreed having regained her composure. "Brace yourself... _Asuka is coming_!"

"_Gah-Wah-Ahhh_!" Shinji cried as Asuka flung the massive Eva Unit-01 across the battlefield, closing few city blocks that separated themselves and the Angel.

Shinji could barely keep his eyes opened during the fight. Asuka was moving Unit-01 at blindingly fast speed dodging the empowered tendrils from the Angel's arms while returning attacks of her own. Had his eyes been opened, he would have realized Asuka maneuvered the Eva with a magnificent grace, ducking through buildings and terrain. Asuka dodged every blow the Angel threw and when the opening presented itself, she punched right back.

And the strangest part was, Shinji felt a strange pressure on his knuckles every time Asuka landed a punch, as if it he himself were punching the monster...

Asuka was visibly panting on Shinji's lap as she began to catch her breath.

"Dammit Unit-01. It's a been rough around the edges. Like it hasn't exercised in _years_."

"It has been in cold storage for nearly a decade," Ritsuko commented. "Some of the joints may still be a tad frozen but..."

"Whatever," Asuka panted. "I'll break that Angel in two... How you holding up, idiot?" Asuka turned her attention towards her unwitting pilot-partner.

"I feel weird... every time you land a punch I feel it too..."

"Heh, you feel everything the Eva does," Asuka said turning around to back, seeing mortified Shinji. "Don't worry about it, idiot. Nothing's going to happ-"

"Asuka! Watch out!" Shinji exclaimed pointing back to the front.

"What? _Shi_-!" Asuka winced as the left arm of Unit-01 was caught in a vice grip of the Angel. The sudden burst of speed from the formerly sluggish beast caught Asuka off guard and now the Angel was in the process if twisting the arm to have a second elbow. But whereas Asuka winced through the intense pain, Shinji screamed.

"Reduce the synch threshold, reduce the pain synaptic for both pilots!" Ritsuko ordered.

"Negative," Commander Ikari intervened. "Transfer all pain synaptic messages towards the secondary pilot, Ikari Shinji. Allow the Second Child to fight without fear of pain."

"B-but sir! If Asuka doesn't feel the pain synapses, it'll dull her instinctual ability to anticipate enemy movement."

"I'm fully aware, but with the handicap of having two pilots as it is, we best use our advantages to its fullest," Commander Ikari said without a pause. "A beast without fear of pain is more dangerous than a beast weighed down by dead meat."

Asuka winced again, but not in pain. That comment was cold, even for Asuka, for the Commander to refer to his own son.

Shinji himself now was more silent than before. With his eyes closed he, was too focused holding down his tongue to notice.

_I can't distract Asuka. Have to be as quiet as possible... _

Asuka blinked. A voice flooded her head but it was not through her ears. It felt as if she was directly communicating with someone close... Someone whom she was sitting on the lap of.

"Thanks, idiot," Asuka muttered.

Shinji opened an eye,"F-for what?"

"Pain synapse transfer complete. All pain transmissions going towards secondary pilot, Ikari Shinji."

And with that, Shinji unleashed a massive roar of pain.

_Argh! The pain... The pain! It hurts. IT HURTS!_

"Just hold out a little bit, Shinji..." Asuka whispered as she brought the Eva's right arm to bear onto the Angel's face.

One punch. Two punch. Twenty punches later and the Angel's grip would not loosen. It held on with a tenacious fury like two atoms bound with absolute lowest energy. This was now a contest between Shinji's and the Angel's tolerance for pain and punishment.

"Goddammit! Let go you goddamn thing!" Asuka did not feel a new surge of liberty in her piloting ability as the Commander predicted. If anything, she fought without pause or objective other than to have Unit-01 suffer as little as possible.

"Since every goddamn hit this Eva takes, Shinji feels..." Asuka muttered to herself.

Then the Angel finally scored a minor victory and gave Eva Unit-01 a second joint on the arm. The arm cracked below the elbow and above the wrist, shattering the armor and revealing a mesh of vein and shattered bio-synthetic flesh.

_ARGH! It hurts. IT HURTS! IT HURST SO DAMN MUCH!  
_

No audible sounds could be heard from the entry-plug cockpit but Asuka knew precisely how Shinji felt. He was being quiet to avoid distracting her. He was tolerating all this pain involuntarily so she could fight unhindered. He took the full brunt of pain from the broken arm for her. Heh, Asuka thought to herself. He's not so wimpy after all...

But that didn't mean she could lax in this fight.

_"_Sir! Secondary pilot Ikari is beginning to phase in and out of consciousness! The shock is causing him to red out!"

"Asuka! Pull back! The UN is going in with close air support!" Misato roared over the intercom.

"What? Alright, got it." Asuka finally managed to slip away from the Angel's grip and retreat a farther distance away as the UN-JSSDF forces began a diversionary assault to occupy the Angel. A massive number of bombs and ordinance were dropped as jets screeched across the air unleashing hellish payloads and devastating gifts of fire and incendiary ammunition to divert the Angel's attention. Positioning the Eva behind a blast shield, Asuka turned her attention to her partner-pilot.

"Come on idiot, stay with me..." Asuka undid the harness that bound both her and Shinji to the cockpit and brought a warm hand to Shinji's cold face, flushed with pain and agony. "Come on... hold out," Asuka whispered as we saw Shinji wince with pain to even the slightest touch.

"That kid just had his arm broken..." Misato commented softly.

"If the secondary pilot passes out?" Commander Ikari inquired without a shred of sympathy.

"Then the secondary pilot may suffer a mental backlash and Unit-01 will cease functioning until we reroute pain synapses to the primary pilot. MAGI predicts a month-to-three-year-long coma for the secondary pilot the most likely outcome should this continue," Ritsuko answered.

"Those consequences are acceptable," was the Commander's response.

"What are your orders?" Ritsuko grimaced.

"Keep the pain synapses on secondary pilot Ikari Shinji until he does pass out. Then switch it to the Second Child immediately afterwards to resume functional operations for the Eva Unit-01."

_Have to... stay awake... Have to... keep Asuka away from this... pain..._

Asuka's eyes were full of concern and worry.

"Second Child," the voice of Commander Ikari flooded the cockpit. "The UN air bombardment is almost over, prepare for sortie again."

"Yes sir," Asuka said with determination as she returned to Shinji's lap and readjusting the harness. "I'll finish this quick."

"Make it so," came the Commander's command of fortune without a hint of warmth.

And with that, Asuka roared back into fight across the burning city that was her battleground.

And she was met with an empowered tendril to the eye of Unit-01.

Perhaps it was the over-eagerness in finishing this quickly that allowed the opening. Maybe it was the frustration of the situation or the hope that the Angel would have been preoccupied with the sudden display of firepower from the UN air support. But in any case, what occurred had occurred and Asuka could only blame herself.

But of course, she didn't scream. After all, she felt no pain from the Eva's actions. No repercussions for however reckless Asuka chose to fight.

Shinji, however, did feel the pain.

And scream he did.

* * *

"Shinji! You idiot come on... wake up..."

Asuka had unfastened the harness and was now a top the young boy. His eyes were closed and a small trickle of blood floating in emulsion within the LCL hovered above his nostril. His heart beat was sound but he wouldn't wake up. The boy would not speak to her and she could no longer hear the thoughts in his head.

Asuka felt something strange... something she hadn't felt in years... not since she found her mothers corpse...

_Fear_.

Her worst fears had been realized. The situation was... desperate. Ikari Shinji had suffered a red out and mental backlash from the pain synaptic overload. At best, he was unconscious and at worst... a coma that would span months to years.

And here, Asuka believed, that slapping his face a few times would wake him up.

"Wake up, idiot! Don't leave me! You boring idiot-deviant-ugh," Asuka twisted her tongue struggling to find insults. "_Stooge_!"

"Asuka! Asuka! Can you read me?" Asuka sighed towards the static of black-and-white screen. Yes, I can hear you but...

"We still can't get a visual or audio feed on the entry-plug! Last moments of recordings suggest Ikari passed out from the excessive pain."

"Goddammit. Asuka!"

"She can't send out messages. Misato, that's enough. The Angel's piercing attack through Unit-01's eye socket and cranium crippled the output relay feed. She can't communicate with the command bridge."

"But can she hear us?"

"Most likely. However, since the command feed has been FUBAR'd... we can't switch the synapses from Ikari to Asuka... meaning..."

The horror was keenly etched into Misato's voice.

"The Eva's dead in the water..."

Asuka was panicking. All her training in the NERV-Branch Germany had never prepared her for a situation like this. A pilot was usually a solo job, but there would always be the support of the command bridge. But here, the command bridge could only guess at what she was doing and with a half-dead body in the entry-plug with her the situation appeared...desperate.

"Eva Unit-01 is not moving. It's lost ten percent of its bio-fluid. The automated coagulation systems are keeping it from bleeding to death. Umbilical cable power supply is still stable..." Maya began ticking off a list through the intercom.

"And yet, the Eva still does not move," interjected Commander Ikari.

"At this time, sir, I recommend emergency retrieval of the Eva Unit-01 and conducting hasty repairs," Misato recommended.

"That won't be necessary, Captain. I have faith that Pilot Soryu will come through for us... Request the UN to commence a second wave of close air support."

"Sir, MAGI predicts UN air support would only buy us another thirty seconds before the Angel wipes out the remaining bomber squadrons," Ritsuko advised.

"Enough time for Pilot Soryu to think of something. Commence close air support."

Asuka held tightly onto Shinji as she braced both of them for the coming onslaught. The young red-haired pilot knew she had to take this opportunity and think... think through the shock waves of explosions and destructive force being unleashed only a few miles away from her Evangelion.

"Asuka. This is Ritsuko. If you can hear me, you have to open up the user-interface and manually switch the synapses from Shinji to yourself. The Eva won't operate unless the synapses are being received by a conscious pilot."

"Argh! Don't you think I've tried that? _Goddammit_!" Asuka cursed. For whatever reason, Unit-01 was rejecting any input commands from the cockpit. In her frustration, Asuka tightened her hold on Shinji.

"I'm sorry, idiot," Asuka apologized, realizing the irony of apologizing to Lord-Shinji-of-the-Apologies. "Guess this was a crappy demonstration of my piloting skills..."

"Well, it's not _so_ bad," a soft voice giggled behind her. Asuka's grip on Shinji tightened before she looked at origin of the voice.

And Asuka looked in wonder.

"Y-you're..." Impossible, Asuka thought to herself. She should be dead... even if she were alive she must have aged...

But yet there she was, the mother of Ikari Shinji, floating in the middle of the cockpit as beautiful as the aged photo Asuka first glimpsed at her in.

Asuka, by instinct and curiosity, reached out to touch her...and felt nothing but the emptiness of LCL.

"Ah! Sorry!" The woman clasped her hands in apology. "I'm kind of in my ghost form so this is a hologram? Sort of?"

"You're t-the idiot's m-mother..." Asuka stammered.

"In the flesh! Well, not really... Don't tell him about the I'm-stuck-possessing-Unit-01-thing-though. It'd freak him out quite a bit."

"Look. This is a great fantastic revelation and all, Mrs. Ikari," Asuka rushed coddling the unconscious boy in her arms, "but there's kind of an Angel out there..."

"Oh that... I'll take care of it. You just watch my little sweetheart for me... _my dear future daughter-in-law_," Shinji's mother winked.

"W-what? W-we're not l-like that!"

"And for future reference, it's either _mother_ or _Yui_!" The woman cheered as Asuka clung tightly to Shinji. She felt Unit-01 begin moving on its own preparing for an epic charge against the Angel, fresh and unfazed from an otherwise brutally sustained series of air strikes.

The shocked red-haired pilot didn't even have time to come up with a curt reply.

Evangelion Unit-01 had gone berserk.

The fury of humankind surged through the wires and veins of the bio-synthetic combat system Evangelion Unit-01. There was a rush of adrenaline, the marvel of miracles and the thunderous power in the machine. Nothing could withstand its unhindered might. The once broken arm had been mended and reformed. Eva Unit-01 fought with strength thought unfathomable moments ago.

Here came the wrath of Man in all its fury.

And Asuka finally bit her tongue

* * *

It was over.

"Ow! ow! ow..." Asuka was rubbing her cheek. Her tongue still sore from being bitten.

The fight had lasted barely a minute and Unit-01 had cease operations. The Angel's core was destroyed with a piece of hardened bone ripped from the monster's own rib cage. After a climatic explosion, Evangelion Unit-01 walked out of the blazing inferno and took pause.

The pair of pilots were now awaiting to be picked up by NERV personnel. Ikari Yui, the strangely eccentric mother of Shinji Ikari, had vanished with a simple "Ta ta for now, my beloved _daughter-in-law_!"

"That's not the last I'm going to see of her", Asuka prophetically muttered to herself.

Though she wasn't entirely displeased by Yui's title for Asuka...

Shaking her head, Asuka looked down at the boy she was nursing. In the fiery red-head's arms, Asuka was cradling the aforementioned Ikari Shinji like a newborn baby with his head resting gently on her rather disappointing bosom.

"Idiot's kind of cute when he's not apologizing..." Asuka commented on the sight, then blushed red when she realized her comment. "T-then again anyone looks cute when they're asleep and in _my_ arms... and not apologizing over every little thing..." _...Right_?

But as cute as the idiot was in her arms, Asuka realized the young boy could be in a coma for months or years.

Such is the price of his sacrifice for her.

Asuka knew what he did entailed. To the young Ikari Shinji, sacrifice is the greatest tribute one can offer someone. To bleed for another, to suffer for another...

That was how one such as he shows affection.

And Asuka stroked the young boy's cheek gently.

Then he stirred.

"A-Asuka?" Shinji's eyes opened slightly to see a mesh of red hair.

"Sh-Shinji!" Asuka exclaimed. "You're alright!"

"I th-think. I'm a bit sore though..." Shinji's face did not lift from Asuka's chest. Rather he snuggled deeper into it.

Asuka's face turned a deep red hue but held back her embarrassment.

"What's this soft thing... it's so warm... I can sleep here forever..." Shinji mumbled as he nuzzled his head to a more comfortable position.

"Heh, it's my treat, runt," Asuka joked. "If you're tired just take a nap," and she gently tightened her hold on the young boy.

"Thanks..."

And the young boy drifted off to sleep.

"No... thank you," Asuka mumbled. She had a new found respect for the boy. Idiot he may be, coward he was not.

Then the entry-plug opened.

"Asuka!" It was Captain Misato, peering from the opening, who was now head of pilot retrieval operations.

"Hey Misato," Asuka smiled, a tinge of regret forming on her lips as she realized Shinji wouldn't be in her arms for much longer.

"Well if you're_ that_ disappointed to see me I can come back in like an hour," Misato grinned with her arms on her hips.

"_No_!"

But Asuka really wanted to say _Yes! Yes!_

* * *

_Chapter One Fin_


	2. The Things that Come after a Battle

**Disclaimer :** _I do not own Evangelion. Please do not sue me._

* * *

**Chapter Two  
**

_The Things that Come after a Battle  
_

* * *

"Naturally, I manhandled that Angel easily," Asuka proclaimed arrogantly at the debriefing conference. "Nothing to it!"

There was a resounding groan as Asuka repeated the same answer she was giving for the ninth time this meeting. She was feeling quite refresh after the post-battle shower to rid her of the LCL clinging to her body. She immediately called a NERV security detail to deliver fresh clothes and undergarments chosen from a luxury fashion catalog.

The bright yellow summer dress suited her slim figure well though the undergarments were not readily observable for comment...

"Asuka, please... let's just get this debriefing over with and tell us how you went berserk..." Misato begged.

The debriefing was held in a dimly lit room with a projector replaying footage from the previous night's struggle, the maiden battle of Eva Unit-01 against its extraterrestrial foe. A display of NERV's technological marvel, the Evangelion battle system, against the greatest threat to humankind, the heralds of the Third Impact - the Angels.

"I just piloted it and beat the crap out of the Angel. _Like I was trained to do_. That's all there is to it!" The lone pilot looked at the faces scattered around the room and noted she was by fair measure the youngest there. She had managed to catch a short glimpse of her fellow pilot, Ayanami Rei, before she was excused by the Commander. And with the Third Child resting in the hospital, the Second Child was the only pilot present at the debriefing.

"That still gives us no answers," Commander Ikari berated. "Let's go over the key points _again_."

One cue came the collective groan of all the command bridge officers. Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki had dozed off a good twenty minutes into the meeting. Captain Misato, having not taken a shower or acquired adequate sleep in the past twenty hours, looked ready to axe murder someone.

"Maya... can go you over the important data points for us?" Ritsuko was running on her fourteenth cup of coffee in the last forty-eight hours and in no mood to repeat what she had repeated for the last hour.

"Y-yes!" Maya shot up from her seat and walked to the front of the debriefing room. "U-um. A second please," Maya begged as she fumbled through the relevant folders.

Nerves were clearly on loose ends here.

"Hurry with it, Officer Ibuki," Commander Ikari growled.

And so was the Commander's patience.

"Y-yes! U-um. At twenty-hundred hours-"

"The brief-concise-and-get-to-the-point version, please, Maya," Ritsuko groaned as she rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Yes, Doctor. For approximately eight minutes, video and audio feed from Eva Unit-01 to the command bridge was cut. It is unknown what transpired within the entry-plug cockpit at the time and how Unit-01 was able to go berserk."

"Doesn't the Eva have a black-box or something?" Officer Hyuga, a tech-savy bridge officer, commented.

"It was mysteriously offline during those eight minutes," Maya clarified before continuing. "In addition... Unit-01 should not be functioning given the pain synapses were connected to the unconscious secondary pilot, Ikari Shinji. Malfunctions were also found within the entry-plug command interface that would have rejected any manual attempts to override commands from the cockpit."

"In other words, Asuka piloting that thing and brutally kicking that Angel's ass is impossible. _We get it_." Misato's temper was on a short fuse.

"It's_ not_ impossible. It actually _happened_," came Asuka's sharp retort.

"Sir, given the situation I think Asuka's answer should suffice our curiosity... it was probably a miracle the Eva started working on its own." There was a small round of applause from the bridge officers for Ritsuko as she attempted to bring the debriefing meeting to a close.

"Very well...," Commander Ikari continued as many within the room began packing up. "_Moving on_."

Cue another wave of collective groans.

"On topic of the newly commissioned Third Child, Ikari Shinji," the Commander began.

"MAGI predicts he has a ninety-nine percent chance of him being able to operate Eva Unit-01. His synch ratios with Unit-01 standalone would be hovering above forty percent but alongside Pilot Soryu it spikes up to sixty-three percent," Maya explained.

"The duo-pilot system has its merits in stabilizing the higher synch ratios," Ritsuko added. "Between his ability to stabilize the Unit-01 synch ratios and Asuka's combat experience, this would be the best option until Unit-02 arrives from Germany."

"What of the pilot's actual motivation? Will he actually get back in the thing? Kid passed out from feeling his arm break into two and getting pierced through the eye socket," cautioned Officer Shigeru, a long-haired former-musician.

"Wouldn't you?" Asuka retorted.

"Psych profile says he's has courage issues-" Maya began before being interrupted.

"Ikari Shinji is _not a coward_."

"And of course the wife comes to the defense of the husband..." Misato barely dodged the small book thrown at her.

"Enough of this childish behavior. Is there any reason the Third Child will not pilot?" the Commander interrogated.

Maya fidgeted as the question was focused at her.

"A-ah...u-um... According to the psych profile states he passed out from a paper cut in the fifth grade."

This earned a small bout of laughter from the crowd.

"Oi, isn't this the same kid who got chocolates from a girl and had a panic attack?" Another random staff officer chimed in.

"Yeah, it was on the first page of the report. Didn't you read?" A second random staff officer added.

"Oh man, this kid. Hey, when that middle school girl-uh, Eriko?-confessed to him you know he threw up all over her," joked a sparkly-eyed intern.

"Did you read about the one where that Chidori chick made him a boxed lunch? _With the hottest chili peppers exported straight from Thailand_?"

"That kid's bowels was bleeding for days..."

"At least he has some honor. Like when he found that Tomoe girl crying after school..."

"I gotta give him props. You how he actually tried to marry-"

"_Enough_!" Asuka shouted as her voice reverberated through the room. Asuka had only glanced through the fast-becoming infamous '_Ikari Shinji Psych Profile_' report before she cringed several years off her lifespan. Silence befell the room for a brief moment.

"As the Second Child says... _enough_," Commander Ikari said icily. "Ikari Shinji's horribly failed romantic exploits do not interest me or NERV."

A soft giggle resounded throughout the room.

"Are you so sure about that, Commander? MAGI predicts the new Third Child would get along quite well with Ayanami Rei."

"Kaji!" Asuka exclaimed excitedly as she ran towards the grizzled man to latch onto his arm.

And there stood the man of Asuka's dreams: Kaji Ryoji. Sporting a five o'clock shadow and looks befitting of a rugged maturity, he stood at the doorway allowing the bright light of the hallway into the dim debriefing room, lightly wrestling with a certain red-head.

"Agent Kaji, you arrived from Berlin rather tardily."

"Oh you know Commander, airline delays and all that. State of emergencies and furloughs from spending cuts tend do that," Kaji laughed off as he approached with Asuka still latched onto his arm.

"Y-you!" Captain Misato stammered.

"Ah, Misato. Love of my life. Star of my night. My dearest honey. We can catch up another time, yeah?" Kaji offered as Commander Ikari lifted himself from his seat.

"Agent Kaji. My office. We have much to discuss. Come when you've finished your greetings. Bring Fuyutsuki with you. _Make it quick_." And with that, Commander Ikari left the debriefing room to the sound of Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki's light snores.

"Guess another time means now," Kaji said sheepishly with his free hand on the back of his head. "How you've been Misato? Looking good! _Ow_! Err-Asuka, you too!"

"Kaji! It's been _too_ long!" Asuka squealed.

"It's only been a few hours Asuka..."

"A few hours compared to _a few years_!" Misato snarled as an uncomfortable silence took over the debriefing room. Many bridge officers took the opportunity that presented itself and escaped the fury leaving five souls remaining within the dimly lit room.

"Aha...," Kaji laughed off nervously. "Ritsuko! Is that you? You lost some weight!" Watch as Kaji attempts the age old tactic of changing the topic.

"Actually, I've gained a few kilograms," Ritsuko admitted shyly.

"I wouldn't mind checking that out for myself-_Ow_!" Misato delivered a swift kick to the shin.

"Haven't changed have you..." Misato muttered.

"And I hope he _never_ does," Asuka whispered dreamily on his arm as Kaji gently removed her from it.

"Well I have to go meet the Commander so... Sub-Commander Fuyutski. Please wake up," Kaji requested as he nudged the aged Sub-Commander from his sleeping position.

"Wh-what? Did the Third Impact happen? I'm not dead am I?" The Sub-Commander appeared visibly nervous as he awoke with a start.

"Ah no... It's me Kaji, Sub-Commander. We have a meeting with Commander Ikari."

"Ah. Yes. We do? I'll lead the way then..." The aged Sub-Commander began hobbling towards the exit stretching and yawning.

"Kaji! Take me out to dinner!" Asuka commanded. "It can be my treat for defeating the Angel."

"Oh," Kaji glanced back. "Sure, why not? Heh. In the case I should invite that Ikari Shinji along too, huh?" Kaji joked only to see Asuka puff her cheeks. "Yeah I'll take you out later tonight, Asuka. You too, Misato," he finished with a wink at the infuriated Captain of Strategic Operations.

"Go back to whatever disgusting hell-hole you crawled out of, Kaji Ryoji!" Misato howled at his back.

And so Kaji hastily left following the Sub-Commander who urgently had to use the restroom.

"A date with my sweet Kaji!" Asuka squealed.

"A date with a scumbag..." Misato muttered.

"Speaking of engagements..." Ritsuko looked over at a grinning Misato. "And not of the romantic kind between the Second and Third Child," she clarified.

"I need Asuka to..."

Then Ritsuko ordered Asuka to partake in one of the most repetitive and mundane tasks that could ever be possibly requested for an Eva pilot. One that would quickly become the bane of her existence as a proud Eva pilot. Something she had done many time and would kill to not do once more.

"...come in this afternoon for synchronization tests." Asuka let loose a groan.

God is in his Heaven, Asuka has synch tests, all is right with the world.

* * *

"You did well coming here so speedily, Agent Kaji," Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki commended the rugged spy, Kaji Ryoji as they entered the office of Commander Ikari.

"No problem, Sub-Commander. I only had to drop four S-class high profile assignments then silence a few agents tailing me. No biggie at all. _No biggie at all_..." The greatest spy in the world was surprisingly humble. And terrible at sarcasm.

"Your disdain for prompt timing nearly cost us... But you did well in advancing our scenario," Commander Ikari also commended.

"Hey. Another way to put it is_ fashionably late_."

"Still, it is certainly a technical feat to have you shove the Second Child into an experiment German Air Force jet and arrive within a matter of hours from the opposite side of the globe when it then had _sudden-completely-unforeseeable_ engine failure right above Tokyo-3..." Fuyutsuki chuckled at his little joke only his favorite student would get.

"And the parachute. Don't forget the parachute. I even folded and prepped it myself! Can't trust those prepackaged parachutes..." Kaji's voice trailed off.

"In any event, all things are proceeding according to our desired scenario," the Commander's hands were clasped in front of him with the fingers intertwined in a sinister appeal.

"Had to admit, didn't think you guys were so cruel as to give so much grief to the women in my life," Kaji smirked.

"If Captain Misato were aware of the full details, she would think being given twenty stacks of UN-insurance petitions and community shelter detail to sort through a_ light_ sacrifice," the Commander stated. "She was distracted and the Third Child was not retrieved promptly, allowing the Second and Third to meet."

"Wouldn't have imagined the duo-piloting system would actually pulled itself through. But that Ritsuko was always so smart... she sure knows what she's doing!" Kaji laughed. The Commander and Sub-Commander of NERV did not share the spy's humor.

"The aspects of the situation are in our favor, gentlemen," Commander Ikari proclaimed. "NERV-Branch Germany has decided to accelerate the schedule of transporting Eva Unit-02 to Japan."

"Details, Agent Kaji?" The Sub-Commander apologized. "I'm afraid I dozed off through that part of the debriefing..."

"The NERV-Branch Germany along with the UN-Atlantic Fleet will transport Unit-02 to the Panama Canal where it will be transferred to the UN-Pacific Fleet. Won't take more than a month. I'll of course be heading back to Germany later tonight to accompany the fleet... _along with the soon-to-be-acquired package_."

"What good is the protection of an Eva without a pilot?" the Sub-Commander wondered aloud.

"The Fleet Admirals haven't left our payroll just quite yet. Besides if there's an Angel attack we can always just launch Asuka off in an experimental jet again," Kaji shrugged.

"Ah. Then that is good and well... however..." Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki began on another topic, "we are still lost as to what transpired within Eva Unit-01 during that eight minute blackout."

"Any ideas, Ikari?" Kaji inquired.

"No."

"You mean 'no theories you're willing to share'... that's fine. I'll figure it out soon enough..."

"That's what we were hoping you'd do," Commander Ikari smirked behind his gloved hands.

"You know, someone of your profession shouldn't enjoy a job such as yours, but when it involves making a sweet teenage girl sing, it sure has its merits... I'm a bit envious," Sub-Commander admitted.

"Sure sure," the spy smiled. "I'll do my best to get it out of her before I leave but no promises... I draw the line at torturing cute girls," Kaji said with a wink.

"I concur," the aged Sub-Commander nodded. "But pilot safety is your highest priority. It comes before information gathering, Agent Kaji," Fuyutsuki finished before Commander Ikari continued.

"The UN-JSSDF are also dissatisfied by their showing against the Angels. In their petty attempt at retribution, they've deployed agents to follow the First and Second Child. The First Child had already taken care of her hound but the Second Child, ignorant as she is, is still being pursued," Commander Ikari subtly hinted towards the new orders for the rugged super spy. "He's been difficult to trace for our rank-and-file... we believe he may be acting directly under the Council."

"We need an experienced hands to pluck out the weeds," Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki finished.

"Ya know I hate gardening..."

"You are to purge out any elements that jeopardize our scenario," the bespectacled Commander continued. "And I know for a fact you're an excellent melon farmer."

"Sure, sure... best kept secret hobby of mine is a not-so best kept secret... well see you two gramps later."

And with that the spy left the expansive office leaving the two aged and most senior officers of NERV alone.

"I'm not that old... am I?" Fuyutsuki, taking in the poor view from the window, lamented after the spy's departure.

"You're gray." The Sub-Commander sighed at the blunt comment.

"Are you going to meet your son? It's been three years..."

"No," Commander Ikari stated without an eyebrow out of place. The aged Sub-Commander sighed again.

"You have a fair grasp of what transpired within the entry-plug don't you, Ikari?"

"Perhaps."

"I envy Agent Kaji for his persistent contact with beautiful women... but that envy is completely eclipsed by the envy you feel... an envy towards a certain girl who, for the first time in a decade, met your long beloved wife..."

"_Very_."

* * *

NERV Central Hospital is universally acknowledged as the pinnacle of health care in the world.

Within the great halls of healing and recovery houses literally thousands of the greatest medical minds in primary care, research and knowledge of all things relating to afflictions, disease and ailments. With over two hundred affiliate universities and dozen of research campuses in and surrounding Tokyo-3, it is backed by enough funding to support several small Third World countries for decades. It is indisputably the finest mankind could offer to its sick.

Only the most deserving and important of personnel within humanity's ranks are privileged to be treated here.

Here, deep within the bosom of the hospital, rested Ikari Shinji.

"Ikari Shinji..." a soft voice spoke.

Above him, in the room of pure white shining bright from the morning sun, was a young girl.

A girl with blue hair and a piercing red eye with porcelain skin that matched the white hue of the walls.

Ayanami Rei, the First Child.

In dress, the First and Third Child would be eerily similar. Both had an eye-patch over an eye. Both had an arm bound in bandages. And both appeared to come with severe emotional issues.

Not that anyone could point that out from a crowd though.

He is unconscious still, Rei thought to herself. It was unsurprising. Considering all the things that had occurred the past night, it was amazing he was not in a vegetative or mentally unresponsive state. Death would have been preferable to these alternatives.

Yet this boy still chose to live with all his will.

"Mo-mother..." Shinji whispered in his sleep as he gently rolled towards Rei. The blanket over his shoulder became slightly undone.

The injured boy shuddered.

Rei, though an captivating urged, returned the blanket to its proper position.

And the shuddering cease.

Why did she do that? Rei wondered. She was not ordered to, yet she felt the need to. Was it related to Piaget's equilibrium and disequilibrium? Was she unsatisfied with the world as it is and made it as she wanted it to be?

To fit her view of life?

"A-Asuka..." The Third Child softly called out as his unwrapped hand began grasping outward.

And found the unwrapped hand of Ayanami Rei.

_Touch_.

_Warm_.

Strange, she wondered to herself. Her orders from Commander Ikari were precise: acquaint yourself with the Third Child and build rapport. _Trust_. However, to the best of her knowledge, acquaintanceship required both parties to be conscious of each others existence at the very least.

As far Rei knew, hand holding was intimacy beyond mere acquaintanceship.

But the Third Child was not fully conscious...

Such a paradox.

"Wh-who are you?" Rei's eyes widened with only the most slightest of shock that the bed's occupant was now conscious.

Shinji had woken up. The warmth of his hand left hers as he retracted his grasp. In her thoughts, the legendary adept and perceptive First Child allowed her guard to lax. This would be embarrassing, she thought to herself, if anyone knew she didn't realize he had woken up since she was lost in her thoughts.

"I am Ayanami Rei, the First Child. An Evangelion pilot," was her well rehearsed introduction. "As are you," Rei added as a spontaneous extension of greeting.

"O-oh... I'm Ikari Shinji."

"I know."

_Silence_.

Perhaps she was too abrupt and curt in her responses? She recalled reading a rather enjoyable self-help pamphlet that in order to empower friendships and drive conversation one should leave the opening for further commentary from the other party.

"You are in the NERV Cen-"

"Where am I exact-"

They cut each other off.

_Silence_.

"S-sorry," Shinji bowed breaking the stalemate silence. It was then he realized his bandaged state. Taking in his surroundings and, strangely enough, looking up at the ceiling he concluded his location. "I'm in a hospital aren't I?"

"Most acute," Rei stated flatly. It was not really most acute but Rei had read positive reinforcement was good at building friendships.

"Excuse me... but do you happen to know where Soryu Asuka Langley is? Red hair... kind of a difficult personality," the Third Child fumbled in his request to the First Child as to the whereabouts of the Second. "But she's my friend. Do you happen to know where she is?"

Yes, she knew approximately where the Second Child, Pilot Soryu, should be at this moment. Most likely at the debriefing meeting that had been going on for several hours now with no end in sight. Rei herself was excused from said meeting in order to fulfill an assignment directly from Commander Ikari himself.

But there came this strange feeling.

"Miss Ayanami?"

The request was not unreasonable, Rei rationalized to herself. But why was there this strange twinge in her heart?

"U-um... excuse me? Miss Ayanami?"

A feeling of... was it, dare-she-admit... _envy_?

No. There should be nothing to be envious of here. The Third Child sought out the Second Child who was not present.

"Miss Ayanami? U-um... did you zone out?"

But the First Child was here... there is no reason for her to care about who the Third Child's mind wondered off to...

I must inquire this to Dr. Akagi in the appointment session late, Rei mentally noted to herself.

Something different... was it the fabled feeling called...

_Jealo_-

"_Omphf_!" Rei turned over to the source of the sound. After her return from deep thought, she found the bed vacant and the floor occupied with the Third Child. It was another embarrassing showing but for who, Rei was not sure. In her deep thought, Rei hadn't realized that Pilot Ikari had stripped himself of his bandages and eye-patch and attempted to depart from the premises.

But his legs were still quite shaky.

"Pilot Ikari," was all Rei said as she helped him back onto the bed. "I believe it would be common sense to rest in a hospital."

Did that comment come off as a bit rude? Rei wondered.

"O-oh. Sorry. Yeah, that makes sense..." Shinji's eyes glanced around the room. "Just need to use the restroom."

At last, Ayanami Rei had a chance to present her worldly knowledge and handed the Third Child a metallic object. Another key point in building friendships was demonstration of superior knowledge in various scenarios.

"M-Miss Ayanami?"

"I believe this would suit your needs perfectly, Pilot Ikari."

"A-a bedpan..." Perhaps the Third Child preferred a toilet? But that would require moving across the room to the private bathroom. Surely it would make more sense to relieve oneself in bed to reduce the amount of calories exerted in traveling. This would be especially true if one were recovering from a hard-fought battle just hours before.

"If you prefer a bathroom," Rei noted. "Then there is a private restroom connected to this room," Rei finished with a gesture at one of the room ends.

And again, the Third Child struggled to move himself from the bed.

Ideally, Rei believed correctly for once, this would be the time to assist him to his objective, however inefficient it may be.

"T-thanks Miss Ayanami," Shinji said as Rei brought one of his arms around her neck and assisted him to the bathroom.

There was an awkward pause as Rei stood waiting outside the door, attentively like a dog waiting for its master, as Pilot Ikari finished relieving himself of a fair amount of backed up urine. In the absent of activities, Rei mused herself with something she believed completely appropriate.

"Sixty-eight seconds," Rei noted as Shinji left the bathroom.

"W-what?"

"Your urine stream lasted sixty-"

"Okay! Okay! That's enough," Shinji assured as he wobbled back to the bed.

His walking posture is improving. The blood circulation to his legs must be returning to normal.

As Shinji mounted the hospital bed and Rei returned to her place at Shinji's side, a sound could be heard that shattered the silence of the room.

Shinji's stomach was furiously growling.

"I presume you are hungry, Pilot Ikari?" Rei mused herself at another opportunity to demonstrate her superior judgement in social affairs. Something she had been repeatedly ridiculed for in her assessment profiles. "A meal has been prepared in the event you would be awake."

Heading to the nearby refrigerator, she retrieved a tray and placed it on a trolly and pushed it to Shinji's bedside.

Oh, Rei almost forgot. She mustn't forget the headpiece, emboldened with a red cross seal, as she retrieved the accessory from her skirt pocket.

"W-what are you doing, Miss Ayanami?" Pilot Ikari had a look of flustered shock. Was something the matter?

"I am playing the role of '_nurse_'. Captain Misato informed me it was the proper way of administering nourishment. However as a complete nurse uniform would be difficult logistically, I have opted instead for just the cap."

Just the cap.

"I s-see. S-sorry..."

"There is no need to apologize. In hindsight, it was a legitimate inquiry." Yes, this was good. Rei smiled internally but definitely not externally. She felt progress in her task was being made as she revealed the contents of the tray.

It was a NERV-DHPSM-JP. the acronym of course standing for _Deluxe High Profile Set Meal - Japanese_.

Even lower ranked officers would be blessed to have a glimpse of the luxurious spread reserved only for the most important of personnel. It consisted of a perfectly rolled tuna, cucumber and avocado roll. Squared egg omelets drizzled in sweet sauce. Although chilled, the miso soup was nonetheless still quite delicious. The main piece were perfectly round roasted Chinese-imported fattened pork slices a top a bed of individually inspected grains of rice.

Only the most perfectly shaped rice grains reaches the packaged contents of a NERV-DHPSM-JP

"_Choo-choo_. Here comes the train," Rei cooed as masterfully used her unbandaged single hand maneuver to scoop a perfectly oval clump of rice with a piece of crispy roast pork atop it.

"M-Miss Ayanami... what are you doing?"

"I am feeding you," Rei answered without a pause. "I've seen videos demonstrating this as an appropriate method of feeding. Or am I proceeding, incorrectly?"

"A bit..." Ah. How embarrassing, Rei thought to herself. Clearly she must adjust her methods.

"_Zoom-zoom_. Here comes the plane," Rei corrected.

"Miss Ayanami... I think those videos were meant for-"

"_Swish-swoosh_. Here comes the plane," Rei ignored the protests as she continued by imitating the spoon as a aviation vehicle. She was confident this is the proper manner of feeding. "Please say '_Ah_', Pilot Ikari. Oral depositing of food matter is the most efficient manner in energy delivery. However if you prefer, I can use the prepared suppository."

"A suppository? What's that?"

Rei explained.

And Shinji lost his appetite.

"Does that alternative seem satisfactory, Pilot Ikari?"

"N-No! Absolutely not!" Fear and terror crept on the young boy's face.

"I believe given your pale complexion and weak stomach, a suppository would be preferable. However, your medical records suggests you've never experienced the administration of one. I would be more than happy to assist you in-"

"_Ab-so-lute-ly_. Not!" Shinji spat out with his arms crossed in front of him.

Well this was strange. Rei knew her orders from Commander Ikari to be exact. Build bonds of acquaintanceship with Pilot Ikari.

Was not assisting in primary medical aid considered normal?

"If only you'd give the treatment an opportunity it would-"

"No! No-no-no-no. Never will I-_Gah_! Miss Ayanami! What are you _doing_?" The Third Pilot screamed.

"Please cease protesting, Pilot Ikari. There is a nutrient suppository here for such an event. Please hold still while I adminst-"

"_No_!"

The struggle continued. The occupants of the soundproof room completely ignorant to the coming harbinger of destruction and terror. Had the First and Third Child not been struggling in a contest over who should possess the lower garments of Ikari Shinji then perhaps they would have realized the danger.

The danger that would come in a beautiful package of red hair, blue eyes and a fiery temperament.

But alas.

"Let's see here...Yup. Room 1275. Frickin' finally. Damn NERV-HQ... going to axe murder some-... _WHAT THE UNGODLY FU_-"

Let's now take a brief moment to recount what the Second Child, Soryu Asuka Langley, observed upon entry into Room 1275 of the East Wing at NERV Central Hospital. If only so the public at large may understand the situation from a neutral bystander's perspective as a pair of eyes stared back at her.

One: A disheveled Shinji Ikari, sans pants, bent over a hospital bed.

Two: The First Child, Ayanami Rei, had her bandaged hand pressed on one of Ikari's butt cheeks.

Three: The First Child's free arm raised, poised and ready to plunge deep into the darkest under-nether regions of the Third Child with a small round object.

"_Disgusting-sex-offender-pervert-Gah_! Oh god. Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god-"

Soryu Asuka Langley wasn't quite sure she ran through twelve flights of stairs and ten city blocks quite as fast before or ever after...

* * *

"Asuka! You're quite early for the synch tests. Weren't you visiting the hubby in the hospital?" Misato jested as she appeared on the synch-test command bridge busily starting preliminary sequences and technicians scurrying about.

"I don't want to talk about _him_," Asuka fumed raggedly as the image of the First and Third Child flooded back to her mind.

Today had not been the best of days. The LCL was a few degrees above her usual preference making it slightly warm. She even found a split end suiting up for the synch test. The hastily shipped in red plug suit must have shrunk in transit and was awfully tight around her chest... Thermal expansion, Asuka mentally groaned.

"Actually I have a request," Asuka continued on a different thought.

"Anything for the hero of yesterday's battle," Misato replied cheerily before her mood soured as a clean-shaven and sparkly-eyed intern handed her her double espresso. "Ugh! Where's the cream? _The cream_, newbie! The cream!" Poorly made. "Useless interns..."

"All male scum with dangling appendages between their legs. Off the bridge. _Now_," stated Asuka as she was disgusted with the Y-chromosome sex foreseeable future.

"Really? That's a strange request... Didn't think Shinji had it in him to turn you off to men-"

"Well, it's not that unusual in other case. A girl her age is self-conscious about these things," Ritsuko interjected before she turned to the intercom. "All male staff members. Get out. That means you glasses," Ritsuko nudged at Officer Hyuga. "You too hippie," referring to Officer Shigeru.

"I'm a goddamn former-musician. Get it right!" As he vacated along with the rest of rest of the males from the synch-test command bridge.

"Hey! Sparkly-eyed new kid who can't make a decent espresso. Four shots of cream with a squirt of caramel next time. Exactly four shots. Now _out_. No men. _ Out means out_," Misato berated as she kicked a fresh new intern out on his rump through the door.

"Well, this is refreshing! Girl's night on the bridge!" Misato cheered happily as a small round of applause echoed through the thinned synch-tech command bridge.

"Let's just get this over with..." Asuka muttered as Ritsuko began running diagnostics alongside Maya.

"Oh, don't be like that, Asuka," Misato urged. "Just because Shinji prefers more well endowed-"

"It's not that."

"More traditionally Japanese? Long straight black hair? Younger?"

"No, Misato. It's not any of-"

"_Older_?"

"No."

"Blue haired, pale skin with red eyes?"

"I swear to _God_, Misato, one more word and I'll-"

"Synch scores for Pilot Soryu in Unit-01 is in. It's a new personal solo best with Unit-01!" Maya announced, interrupting the escalating tension.

"What is it?" Ritsuko inquired.

"Three point seven points! It's more than a one hundred percent increase from last time..." Maya initially encouraging voice trailed off.

"Seems like duo-pilot synchronization is our only option... but it's better than nothing," Ritsuko mumbled. "Asuka, try to focus. We're going to try-_hic! sic! biribiri!_"

What the? Static on the intercom? Asuka didn't panic. She was trained not to panic. The audio feed was down and so was the visual feed. She retained optical vision from the primary Eva peripherals but not the fine target sensors.

"Asuka!-_sic!_-Something's wrong with-_hic!_-audio and visual feed down-_sic!_-give us a moment-_biribiri_!-sister's noise-_biribiribiri_!"

And the audio and visual feed went silent.

"Ah. _Perfect_. A private chat between mother and daughter-in-law. What a wonderful afternoon!"

Asuka froze in her seat as she felt a presence behind her in the test-plug cockpit.

"M-Mrs. Ikari!" Asuka exclaimed in surprised. She didn't imagine the idiot's mother to appear for no reason.

Mrs. Ikari floated to the front of the cockpit and brought her hands to hips with puffed cheeks.

"Mrs. Ikari makes me sound so old... And I told you before. It's either _mother_ or _Yui_. Come on. Say it with me. _Yu-u-i_! So easy!" The Ikari matriarch grinned.

"Y-yeah. S-sure. Good afternoon_... Yui_," Asuka finished finally.

"Good! Now you can imagine I'm here for an important reason, right?"

"I can imagine that..."

"Well I'm not! Just wanted to say '_hi_'. Oh you know, checking up on the progress of the grand-kids. I always wanted a big family... shame I had to stop with Shinji. He would have turned out so much better with maybe two hundred or so sisters."

"W-what-" Yui would not allow Asuka a word in edgewise.

"But I appreciate you keeping my existence a secret from the masses, sweet daughter-in-law," Yui smiled.

"N-not a problem," Asuka having realized early on perhaps knowing Unit-01 was possessed by a ghost was not something most people should know.

"How's my idiot son these days?"

Asuka remembered why she came so early to this damned synch test.

"Oh! Caught him with another woman, huh? Gendo was always pretty unfaithful... every time that _cat-in-permanent-heat_ asked, Gendo complied. No backbone at all! At least I married him... Naoko only got him after she was hit with a _sudden-completely-unforeseeable _case of ultra-early menopause! _ HA_!_ HA_!_ HA_!" Yui finished with a diabolically forced laugh. "I totally didn't spike her lunches with estrogen cocktails, I swear."

"You can read my mind?" Asuka asked a bit confused and surprised.

"A bit. I feel your emotions and they happen to be quite similar to mine... you kind of remind me of myself when I was your age...," Yui paused before continuing. "Oedipus complex indeed..."

_Silence_.

"Well I'm still mad at the idiot. So I wouldn't count on grandchildren, _yet_." Asuka huffed before realizing her Freudian slip.

"Ah, you're still so young. But you know, Shinji has this diamond-shaped mole on his right butt cheek-"

"I know."

_Silence_.

It between the two women lasted until Yui forced a coughed and took charge of the conversation.

"_But anyways_, the first few months carrying him were the absolute _worst_," Yui began, "Gendo was _sooo_ unreliable. How the hell couldn't the most powerful man in Gehirn find me some mango pudding at three o'clock in the morning? Are you _kidding_ me? He had to sleep on the coach for the four months..."

Asuka sat silently through the rambling one-sided chatter.

"-then there was this manga I was reading. There's not much to do being stuck in the Eva other than read and watch stuff ya know? Anyways, the protagonist is _sooo_ cool! Like capturing _five_ goddesses at once cool. _Sooo_ cool! Totally unlike a _certain_ Commander of NERV..." Yui scowled before pretending to readjust a pair of imaginary glasses on the bridge of her nose with one arm crossed across her chest giving a determined chess-master look. "But then he's all '_I can already see the ending_'! Haha! I wish I had adventures with a spirit-demon-ghost-whatever from hell to help me with my nonexistent _love_ life."

Asuka believed she was experiencing that right this moment as she sat through more...

"Oh! Oh! So anyways, anyone who gets their name written in the notebook _dies_! That was _sooo_ interesting!" Yui clapped her hands excitedly. "But then the fan group that was subbing it put in '_It's all going according to keikaku, translator's note: keikaku means plan_'. I was laughing for _days_ after that. It's so roundabout! Oh? Not funny? Sorry... try looking it up?"

...and sat through some more...

"I mean, Axel and Teri aren't even Japanese names! Why I'd never...! This is a dilemma fan fiction writers have struggling with for _generations_. The eternal struggle between blatant Nipponism and total anachronism!"

...and sat through some more...

"'_All Hail Britannia_!' They had some _great_ characters in that show. Now see, Zero-_ah, my dreamy Zero_...-he was a _real_ man! He was a real strategic chess planner. _At least he would have predicted his wife getting her soul sucked up by a giant goddamn robot_!" Yui hissed with bitterness.

...and sat through even more...

"'_I'm curious_!'" Yui, with a pair of shining and strangely purple orbs for eyes, exclaimed as she brought her non-physical nose to Asuka's. Yui was in the midst of replicating the trademark mannerism and catchphrase of one of her favorite characters from some cartoon or something. "I swear Kyoto-2 Animation makes _the absolute best_ slice-of-life stuff. You know they're coming out with a swimming anime?" Yui squealed. "Men. Just _men_! Just _dripping wet men_!" The eyes of Ikari Yui perhaps never looked so perverse or dreamy.

"That's... great and all, Yui..."

Yui puffed her cheeks in a childlike manner before she softened her gaze and smiled.

"Thank you for entertaining an old woman's prattle, beloved daughter-in-law."

"It's not a problem," Asuka yawned out a bubble in the LCL. How long has she been in here?

"I don't know. Time just sort of flies by in here..." Yui's voice trailed off.

Asuka held her tongue. This was Mrs. Ikari's only contact with someone in perhaps... a decade was it?... when she was lost in the Eva Unit-01 test trials so long ago. Asuka sighed to herself. She could at least entertain the woman who gave her life and contributed so much that Asuka could have the opportunity to pilot the Eva.

And besides, what's wrong with getting to know the _in-laws_?

"Oh but you know! Shinji has a habit of spilling out the truth to any question you ask him!"

Asuka raised a cursory eyebrow. "He does?"

"Yup! Yup! Just have to ask him a question right before he dozes off to deep sleep. It's a small five minute opening. Figured it out when I found he was the one sneaking cookies out and not Gendo..."

Yui shook her head from the distant memories.

"Best part is, Shinji won't remember a thing about you asking."

"Heh," Asuka scoffed as Yui went off on some more reminiscing.

"Then again, Gendo was even more spineless than Shinji was those days..."

Asuka tilted her head, her mouth opened in utter disbelief that the famously fearsome Commander Ikari, at one point, was spineless.

"But be careful, Asuka," Yui's sharp tone broke Asuka's train of thought. "There are many factions out there seeking to climb up the ladder in the Post-Second Impact chaos. Some want superficial things like money and control. Others want acknowledgement and love. There are even some who want a Third or even _Fourth_ Impact."

None of this surprised her. Of course there were dangerous people out here. Dangerous people even dare to opposed NERV. Pockets of humanity that still resisted civilization and leaps they've taken since the Second Impact. What a queer world.

"And what is that you want?" Asuka inquired innocently.

Yui smiled.

"You and Shinji to be happy," she said with a wink before preparing to depart. "And grand-kids!"

Asuka turned a light crimson as mother-in-law Ikari Yui, eccentric and whimsical, moved to the beat of her own drum and vanished.

"Well that was amusing, if not tiring," Asuka assured herself before realizing something was on her lap.

A picture.

Huh? Asuka lifted the thin laminated sheet to her face.

It was a picture of Ikari Yui, a woman who supposedly had no pictures. Asuka was aware of the titanic lengths Commander Ikari made to purge his famous wife from the records. A woman who originally existed as words on file or stories through lips. To Asuka... this woman was a person who lived in a picture, in the distant memories of Shinji and a woman who rambles about her closet obsessions in modern animation. There shouldn't be another picture

Other than the one Shinji has.

But this picture was different...

Shinji's picture held a woman who stood with a pose. A rigid pose that was however beautiful, seemed... lacking in life.

This one, she was all smiles, bright and cheery.

With, what appears to be, a baby Shinji to boot.

Ah well, Asuka shoved the picture into a plug suit pocket. Let's just get out of here.

Audio and visual feed was back up, finally.

"Oh hey, Asuka," the voice was Maya who was munching on some chips. "Seems like you're finally responding."

"Ah. Maya," Asuka greeted before noticing the nearly empty command bridge. "What do you mean 'finally responding'? Where is everyone?"

"Synch tests were over..." Maya glanced at the clock, "quite a while ago actually... We asked if you wanted to get out but you kept sending typed messages saying _'nein, nein, nein, nein_!' We figured you got cozy in there and was adapting to the cockpit."

"What exactly do you mean a while ago..."

"You've been in there for six hours-"

"_Six frickin' hours_? _It's night already_?" Asuka was visibly fuming with rage directed towards a certain ghost.

Maya nodded as she threw another chip in her mouth before she recalled a visitor.

"Oh! Agent Kaji came by to remind you about dinner-"

"_My date_!" Maya sighed at the teenage girl's furious attempt to manually eject the entry-plug. Best try to defuse the situation with some good news...

"At least your synch score broke through four points!"

* * *

"Pilot Ikari, my apologies," Rei said with a bow.

He was unexpectedly frustrated by this turn of events, Rei noted. The most logical thing would be apologize and make amends for the poor turn in situation. Shinji was sitting down at the table with both palms to face.

"It's... fine, Miss Ayanami," Shinji mumbled from behind his hands.

The pair of teens were seated under an umbrella table at a hospital cafe awaiting Captain Misato to retrieve them to discuss the living arrangements for the newest pilot. Shinji, still embarrassed by the earlier display in front of Asuka, was in the midst of his brooding.

Rei was watching Shinji brood.

"Is there anything I could do to make amends?" Rei offered sincerely. In hindsight, Rei realized she was at fault for violating this foreign new concept of 'personal space'. It was crucial to the mission to maintain good reputation with the Third Child.

"It's fine, Miss Ayanami... sorry, I just... never mind," Shinji took a drink of iced tea to sooth the nerves.

Rei was worried. Was Pilot Ikari upset enough to denounce her?

"I wish to make amends, Pilot Ikari," Rei stated flatly.

"It's fine, Miss Ayanami... are you hungry?" Shinji inquired. He himself had bought a small boxed lunch with disposable chopsticks from the hospital convenience store; the mere sight of a NERV issued meal reminded him of a suppository.

Rei took a moment to answer. She was not all that hungry. Ideally, Rei thought however, it would be best to say she was so as to defuse the awkwardness. They say sharing a plate and food is the same as sharing a friendship, no?

"I am, indeed, hungry."

"Ah, would you like me to get you something from the-"

"No."

"Oh... sorry." Rei furrowed her brow.

"May I have some rice?" Rei requested. Yes, this would what the MAGI supercomputers would predict as the most appropriate course.

"Ah... sure," Shinji lifted himself from the table.

"Where are you doing, Pilot Ikari?" Rei asked, stopping Shinji.

"I was going to get a spoon."

Interesting. Rei needed a moment to think. The saying was sharing a plate... but did it also apply to utensils? Rei did not have time to work out the logical schematics of reason. Rei was just going to have to make the final decision on a whim.

"U-um... Miss Aya-"

"Pilot Ikari."

"Miss Ayanami?"

"There is no need for that. Your current utensils will suffice." Rei congratulated herself. This was the wiser decision, worthy of praise from the MAGI.

Shinji blushed a soft red.

"Miss Ayanami... I don't think..."

"Pilot Ikari," Rei interrupted. "Please." It was polite to say 'please' after all.

"O-okay," Shinji stammered as he nervously handed Rei his chopstick.

"Pilot Ikari," Rei stated.

"Y-yes, Miss Ayanami?" Shinji's nervousness plainly entering his voice.

"With these bandages and wounds, I cannot feed myself." A blatant lie, Rei mused, but it was necessary for the final outcome.

"A-ah. O-of course," Shinji prepared a delivery of rice with a piece of chicken.

"Pilot Ikari. I apologize for not informing you but I do not enjoy the taste of meat."

"Oh..." Shinji quickly shook off the meat piece and brought it to Rei's mouth.

Rei stood there passively, her mouth unopened.

"Miss Ayanami...?"

"I do not believe you are conducting this with proper protocols."

"Proper protocols... you mean...?" Shinji blushed softly as he realized the other cafe attendants were watching him eagerly. Some male onlookers looked on with encouragement. Others looked on with envy. Even a few females were jealous of the First Child's position.

"Yes, Pilot Ikari. I believe I performed a proper demonstration earlier."

Shinji needed a moment. Miss Ayanami was strange to him. Peculiar and rigid. But there was something... magnetic in her presence that Shinji wanted to keep. If it meant a moment of public embarassment then... it was worth it to keep this budding friendship.

Haha, Shinji thought nervously to himself. His second friend since arriving here...

Maybe the first one wasn't his friend anymore...

Shinji sighed and prepared his mental state for the coming task.

It's not like anyone they know is watching anyways.

"_Choo-choo_. Here comes the train-" Shinji barely delivered the food to Rei's mouth.

"You know... that's awfully kinky," a female voice commented.

Captain Misato has arrived.

"C-Captain Misato!" Shinji leaped back from the purple haired woman.

"Captain Misato," Rei greeted as she stood and bowed.

"How many times I got to say it... just Misato is fine. You too, Shinji."

The purple haired woman ruffled the blue-haired girl's head before turning her attention to the male.

"But anyways! Shinji!" Misato clasped her hands together and bowed in apology. "Forgive me for my tardiness for yesterday. It was most unfitting of a Captain such as myself. If it would please you, I would gladly resign from NERV-HQ and-"

"It's fine! It's fine!" Shinji was overwhelmed. The male onlookers of the cafe were now decisively envious of the young Ikari who held the company of two beautiful women.

"Really?"

"Really."

"Oh fantastic! You know, I was kind of worried you'd be sadistically cruel like your father-"

"Please... don't... sorry," Shinji cringed at the mention of his father. The one who called him here to Tokyo-3 and refused to meet him.

Misato held back a frown. "Sorry. My bad. Why don't I treat you out to dinner? You can come too, Rei. Hey... come on Shinji don't give me that pout... Want that smooch I owe you?" Misato joked.

"No! I mean, no it's fine." Shinji fumbled through the aggressive female's humor.

"Does Captain Misato wish to mate with Pilot Ikari?" Rei inquired.

"W-what?" the Captain and male pilot stuttered.

"It is my understand that 'smooch' refers to kissing of the romantic nature. And when a female and a male love each other very, very much-"

"Okay, okay. I think I heard enough," Misato waved off. "No one is getting any smooches, Rei."

"_But I want a smooch_..."

"_You_!" Misato pointed in disgust.

"Listen to me, Shinji my boy. You gotta take all the smooches you can. Never know when a meteor going at ninety-seven percent the speed of light is going to hit the Antarctic continent and cause a series of environmental catastrophes that reshapes the entire world order."

"Shinji don't listen to this scumbag!"

"Um... who are you?"

"Ryoji Kaji! Agent. Master lover. Jack of all trades. Did I mention _master of love_? Just call me Kaji."

So this... is Kaji, the boyfriend of Asuka, Shinji thought to himself. Well dressed, rugged and grizzled. An air of maturity with a nonchalant persona.

I can see why Asuka fancies him, Shinji sighed.

"Hey now. Wipe that frown. Why don't I treat you to dinner... I know this great-"

"Excuse me? Where's _my_ dinner after all these years?" Misato fumed.

"Oh. Misato... well. You know..."

"I'm waiting."

"So!" Kaji hastily changed the topic. "Asuka's been in her synch test for past couple of hours. Just refuses to get out. Decided to take in the sights. Boy has Tokyo-3 changed."

"And _some_ people haven't changed," Misato muttered before continuing. "She's still at the test?"

"Yup. Strange ain't it? You'd think she'd be screaming to get out by now. But it's all '_nein, nein, nein, nein_!'"

"Tests?" Shinji inquired.

"Oh right," Kaji threw an arm around Shinji's shoulder. "As the newest and first male Eva pilot. It is your duty to put your life on the line for humanity. This includes going to a ridiculous number of synchronization tests that serve absolute no purpose other than to spend taxpayer money!"

"Speaking of taxpayer money," Misato glared at the Agent and forcibly removed his hand from the Third Child. "We need to discuss your living arrangements, Shinji. NERV is willing to fund all your arrangements and provide a stipend."

"That's right!" Kaji clapped his hands together. "I know his magnificent hotel-"

"No one gives a damn about how many women you've brought to that _damned_ hotel," Misata raged.

"That's not what you said-"

"_Finish that thought_," Misato dared.

"B-but he's totally welcomed to use my suite!" Kaji offered.

"No. He's better off living with wolves and apes than living like this man-child," Misato glared at Kaji. "You're welcome to live with me if you'd like," Misato offered to Shinji.

"Awfully forward aren't you-" Kaji never finished that sentence with a loose brick to the nose. Upon shattering to dust on his face, the agent dropped to the floor and rolled around in pain.

"Get up you big baby. I know you've got your nose reinforced with tungsten. Quit your whining."

"I-I was planning on finding my own apartment, actually..." Shinji mentioned as Kaji got back on his feet.

"Oh?" Misato was surprised. "Well if that doesn't fall through, you're still welcomed to stay with me," Misato offered cheerfully.

"I'm seeing some _really_ aggressive cougar play-"

Kaji's tungsten reinforced nose met Misato's depleted-uranium knuckledusters.

"Is he going to be okay?" Shinji inquired to Rei, unsure if this was normal.

"Agent Kaji has survived worse," was her reply.

"Just because _some_ of us don't want teenaged kids living alone..." Misato spat as she returned the knuckledusters to her purse.

"What about Asuka?" Asked Kaji as he tended to the first bloody nose he's received in years.

"She's going to hotel hop every week. You know how she is," Misato shrugged.

"Well, anyways. Shinji, you wanna come to dinner with-"

"Aren't _you_ the one being a bit forward with an under-aged boy?"

"It's just a courtesy dinner for celebrating defeating the Angel, I swear!" Kaji exclaimed nervously.

"If that's why he's going then I deserve to go as well," Misato intervened. "Rei too," Misato stated as she grabbed the First Child's shoulder.

Kaji sighed in defeat.

"Why don't you guys all come with-"

"Yes. We will."

"Misato and I will split-"

"You're paying. _All of it_."

Goddammit, Kaji sighed to himself.

* * *

"My sweetheart, Kaji!" Asuka exclaimed as she arrived at the shining restaurant in the middle of the Tokyo-3 night life.

After quick post-synch test shower to purge the smell of LCL from her body and spending enough to bankrupt a small town later in designer outfit purchases, Asuka was dressed in an elegant white dress that shone well with her lovely red hair. Kaji kept his promise to dinner before his return to Germany to escort Eva Unit-02 to Japan.

"Can't I come with you back to Germany, Kaji?" Asuka begged in a cutesy manner.

"Oi, oi... Asuka not in public, please," the Agent named Kaji, dressed in his usual shirt and tie with five o'clock shadow, begged as he saw the stares at the sight of a middle-aged man with a young barely pubescent girl latching onto his arm. Arrest warrants for compensated dating charges were the last thing the super spy needed on his rather... spotty record with women. Though what appeared to a legitimate urge from the super spy to cease-and-desists was taken by the Second Child as a sign of sly undertones and ulterior connotations.

"So beautiful! Modern!" Asuka squealed in delight as they entered in a realm of modern aesthetic appeal with pale curves and soft lights.

Kaji had made reservations at the _Minamoto De Bistro_: French-inspired Japanese-styled cuisine with flavors suited as exotic enough for Japanese but familiar enough for Europeans and Americans. Entering the restaurant, Asuka found the decorum rather old fashioned but suitably mature for a romantic outing.

"Oh Kaji..." Asuka mused before she realized reservations were not for a company of two but a company of five.

"What are _they_ doing here?"

Asuka's mood soured as her eyes saw Captain Misato on the left, then Ayanami Rei center, before finally landing right at Ikari Shinji. She had good reason for disappointment at their presence at her dinner-date with Kaji.

One: Katsuragi Misato, Captain of NERV sporting a purple evening dress and a scowl. A rival for her beloved Kaji! Not that she any competition... _old hag_, Asuka mused.

Two: Ayanami Rei, the Second Child, sat emotionless and expressionless in a school uniform with an eye and arm wrapped in bandages. Asuka categorized along with Ikari as a pervert... with loose morals... Also a rival... wait... in _what_?

Thee: Ikari Shinji, the Third Child, sat with a dumbfounded look in a tucked-in shirt with black slacks. She held the absolute disdain for this person. Let's not talk about him. _Hmphf_!

"A-Asuka..." Shinji began rising from his seat.

"It's Miss Soryu to you," Asuka spat back as Kaji helped her into a chair next to Shinji. Kaji's face apologized for her mannerisms before taking a seat between the fiery demon and the purple nightmare that was Captain Misato. Rei tugged the sleeve of the downcast boy next to her back to his seat.

"Understood... Miss Soryu," Shinji said in a hurt tone.

"Spineless wimp," Asuka scoffed as he looked away from the boy on her right, without a tinge of remorse.

"So...," Kaji maneuvered in an attempt to break the tension calling over a sparkly-eyed mustached waiter, "you folks got your orders decided?" Kaji inquired to the group of three women and one spineless wimp.

After a quick glance at the menu, Asuka selected a baked soft bone fish on a bed of Japanese style herbs. Elegant and refined, Asuka thought to herself.

"The salad." Asuka rolled her eyes. _Which one_? "Just lettuce is acceptable. With croutons," Rei finished.

Are you kidding me? Asuka stared in disbelief.

"I'll have the French meal set... I never had French food before... so..." Asuka raised an eyebrow.

_Oh ho oh_... adventurous tonight are we, _wimp_?

"I want the ten most expensive things on the menu... and two of each," Misato finished slamming the menu on the table. It's not her wallet that's going to be crying tonight. No sir.

Asuka was confident Kaji could easily afford it.

Kaji thought differently.

"Er-Mi-Misato...that's-"

"_Go on_."

"Uh... just get me the strongest drink from the bar you've got. Three of them."

"Ah," the slicked waiter with sparkly eyes wrote down hastily. "What would the rest of you like to drink?"

"Three sodas for the kids... Misato...?" Kaji eyed the eldest woman seated.

Misato wiggled her nose. The waiter stood fumbling, his mustache twitching about, as a short silence took its toll.

"S-sorry. F-first day-"

"An espresso," Misato interrupted the waiter's stumbling apology and turned her attention back to Kaji as the waiter hurriedly left to put in the orders.

"So!" Kaji began after the waiter had left. "A toast..." Kaji eyed the returning waiter place a glass of alcohol in front of him, three colas in front of each of the pilots, and an espresso with cream and caramel in front of Misato. "To the arrival of the Asuka from Germany and the promotion of Shinji to Eva pilot status."

If only there were crickets in the surgically clean restaurant...

Misato took a sip of her espresso before stating her mind.

"Shut it, scumbag. We all know we're just here for the free food," Misato eyed a pair of appetizer trays topped with selected peeled shrimp, boiled crustaceans and picked vegetables being placed in front of her. The spread was ranked seventh on the menu. "Help yourselves, kids."

"This is quite good," Shinji praised as he took a bite of a lightly soaked in brine lettuce leaf.

"These Japanese... so humble they just let all the good stuff sit to waste," Asuka scoffed as she piled several crab legs onto her plate. She broke apart the shells and rained lemon juice on the exposed white flesh before providing a live demonstration of a Demon's appetite.

"Pilot Ikari."

"Yes, Miss Ayanami?"

"Feed me."

Asuka dropped her fork with a resounding clunk.

"W-what..." Asuka stammered as Shinji held a thin slice of pickled carrot for the injured Rei to nibble on.

"I concur with Pilot Ikari. It is delicious."

Asuka watched in disbelief and felt her stomach turn at the sight.

They were that close, already? Asuka was not alone in observing the boy feed the bandaged blue haired girl. It captivated quite a bit of attention from the restaurant goers to the already boisterous table. The comments from a couple at a neighboring table were witting away at her mental state.

"That's so cute! Think that's her sister?" The girl wondered.

"No way... definitely his girlfriend," came her date's reply.

"Better the blue-haired one than that red-haired glutton..."

"Yeah, that kid matches the blue-haired one better."

"It's so dreamy how he's feeding her with those injuries..." The girl squealed.

"Maybe she got those injuries in bed-"

"_Enough_!" Asuka's voice thundered through the restaurant and paused all conversations and operations. "S-sorry," she apologized immediately upon realizing what she's said and sat back down at the table before a plate of lamb was set upon the table. Served on two plate with a rack a piece, each rack was worth a family meal at any other restaurant by itself and was the cheapest of Misato's series of entrees.

Asuka wasted no time in viciously ripping the lamb a apart. Screw forks and knives.

"Asuka... your table manners..." Misato muttered watching the spectacle.

"_I can eat how I want_!" Asuka fumed during a rare pause in her rampage.

The lamb was crusted a thyme and rosemary rub and gently pan seared before being baked to finish. A dark crust with juicy interiors without a drop of blood but oozing with spiced fat. It was served on a bed of wild, handpicked potatoes simmered well but hastily prepared and drizzled with a light butter sauce.

To a normal person, the rack of lamb would be the obvious choice to begin...

But out of the corner of Asuka's eye, she saw Shinji hold a small potato piece for Rei to bite from.

Asuka tore apart the poor lamb.

"Aren't they adorable?" Kaji commented to Asuka as she finished work on the base of Lamb Bone Mountain.

"As adorable as two perverts go..." Asuka muttered before multiple steamed lobsters were placed onto the table.

"Funny you mentioned that. Shinji is actually going to stay at my hotel suite for the time. Rei is even staying with him," Kaji confessed in a low voice.

Asuka dropped her lobster with a thud onto her plate.

"A-are you serious?" Asuka whispered in a hush tone.

"He needed a place and I'm leaving for Germany," Kaji smiled and continued in a soft whisper. "He emphasized how much he wanted Rei with him."

Asuka froze. She felt her pride become stung. Her self-esteem nearly shattered.

How _dare_ that Third Child place preference to the First over the great Soryu Asuka Langley.

"Asuka? You're turning red..." Kaji whispered gently.

"Just... so angry..."

"Over?"

"Gah... forget it," Asuka mumbled. "We're here to celebrate my single handed victory over the Angel!" Asuka proclaimed to the table.

"That would be incorrect to say, Pilot Soryu. Without Pilot Ikari, then Unit-01 would never have been operational," came Rei's response.

"And what about me? I did stuff too!" Misato puffed.

"A fantastic contribution, filling out those _dreaded stacks_ of insurance claims for NERV," Kaji said before met a high-speed lobster to the face.

The greatest agent of NERV was always horrible at dodge-ball.

"Damn them... I don't need any of them..." Asuka quietly raged as she watched Rei explain to Shinji the proper method of imitating a train's '_choo-choo_' sound.

"There, there now Asuka..." Kaji tried to dissuade the red pilot's anger as he cleaned his face from lobster matter. "How about you tell me what piloting the Unit-01 was like?"

Asuka's eyes brightened up onto a topic she excelled at.

"It was no biggie at all! Unit-01 would do back flips and dunks if I wanted it to," Asuka praised herself.

"Especially amazing how you managed defeat the angel despite the pain synapses not being connected."

"Y-yeah," Asuka admitted nervously.

"Your skills are improving by leaps and bounds, Asuka. I'm impressed," the Agent smiled as he leaned closer.

Asuka could smell his light tobacco breath, a twinge of alcohol and aftershave. Asuka smelled heaven.

"I-It's not true... I h-had help," Asuka admitted shyly.

"Ah. The Third Child?" Kaji suggested.

"N-no! It was..." Asuka looked around the table. Shinji was laughing at a joke Rei had unwittingly made regarding on growing roses. She couldn't trust that idiot with Unit-01's secret occupant... but Kaji on the other hand...

"The truth is," Asuka began to confess. "There's-"

_Clank_!

Their conversation was interrupted as a plate of delicately sliced sashimi, ranked fourth most expensive on the menu, nearly toppled over when the waiter clumsily attempted to maneuver room onto the crowded table. Shinji reached over to retrieve a piece for himself, the first item he was finally going to eat of the night.

"_Oops_! Sorry!"

Kaji cringed visibly when the same clumsy waiter bumped into Shinji, causing him to drop a sashimi onto the floor. Kaji stared as Shinji retrieved the sashimi... his money... _just gone_!

"S-sorry!" the sparkly-eyed waiter bowed profusely again before his manager dragged him by the ear for a scolding. Asuka rolled her eyes at the sight.

"Can't even hold sashimi with chopsticks properly?" Asuka was probably not in the best position to make that remark as she stabbed through the raw fish and dipped it into the soy, wasabi, and ginger mixture with a fork. "And you call yourself Japanese... _embarrassing_."

"A-ah... Sorry... This floor looks pretty clean though. I'm sure it's still goo-"

The raw fish piece never reached Shinji's mouth.

"_Five second rule_!" Kaji exclaimed as he grabbed the raw slice of fish from Shinji's hand and shoved it into his mouth. His days of a hungry childhood during the Second Impact taught him to appreciate the bounty of food.

Kaji also couldn't stand the sight of money being wasted. Well not just any money... _his money_.

"But Agent Kaji, the sashimi was on the floor for approximately eight seconds and spent another twenty-or-so seconds in transit-"

"Ah, I think that's enough, Rei," Kaji urged as he began to turn purple. Kaji quickly clasped a hand over his mouth.

"Oh? Super agent extraordinaire Kaji spent too much time in _Beer-and-Yodeling-Land_ to handle some native Japanese cuisine?" Misato scoffed.

"K-Kaji?" Asuka exclaimed in honest worry. At the heavy expense to the confidence of another male sitting silently at the table...

"You know that's not it..." Kaji groaned as he gripped his stomach. Misato rolled her eyes.

"Alright you three, seems _big boy_ here needs help to the restroom... Damn they don't have a customer restroom here... Don't wait for us, children. Just help yourselves when your orders come in," Misato explained as she helped Kaji out of his seat.

"Capt-"

"Yes, Rei, that's an order," Misato replied by instinct from having fully anticipated Rei's incoming question.

"Mi-Misato..." Kaji brought his mouth to the Captain's ears.

"What? Oh dammit, _fine_." Misato handed Shinji a purple card plucked from Kaji's pocket.

"I trust you the most out of this bunch. When you're finished, pay and leave."

"NERV sanctioned no-limit credit..." Shinji read aloud the description.

Before the adults departed, Kaji struggled over to Shinji, clasped a hand on his shoulder and whispered something in his ear.

"Bring Asuka down the alley between Suzuki Arcade and Niko Bakery at midnight _sharp_. Then immediately head down the block towards the Augustus-Tokugawa Hotel... trust me kid... this is some of my _best laid plans_. You're the man of the table now," with that final remark, Kaji groaned and stumbled out of the restaurant with Misato assisting him in a stomach-pain induced waddle.

Shinji was unsure what to make from the orders that came directly from Asuka's boyfriend. He appeared nice enough... apparently wealthy. Shinji sighed as he saw the last glimpse of Misato and Kaji's back.

Somehow, the Third Child felt watched like an innocent hare by a hawk.

And so, the three pilots were left alone. Shinji with a no-limit NERV credit card in hand...

...with obsessive-compulsive-shopper-extraordinaire Soryu Asuka Langley sitting right next to him.

* * *

_Chapter Two Fin_

**Challenge (!) :** _Can you spot the references to other anime, light novels and some very enjoyable and famous Evangelion fan fictions?_


	3. Welcome to Life in Tokyo-3

**Disclaimer :** _I do not own Evangelion. Please do not sue me._

* * *

**Chapter Three  
**

_Welcome to Life in Tokyo-3  
_

* * *

She vanished with a _z-oink_!

"Miss Soryu? Miss Soryu!" Shinji called out, drawing stares from bystanders and mall-goers. Close behind the exasperated Third Child was the palest of the pilots, Ayanami Rei. "Miss Soryu!" The boy called out again.

"Pilot Ikari," Rei addressed as she tugged onto the Third Child's shirt. "Why do you suppose Pilot Soryu would have come through this way?" Rei looked around and found little evidence for the Second Child's presence here. Frilly dresses behind glass windows and shop attendants standing idly at the doorway hoping to shepherd in potential patrons.

The Tokyo-3 Grand Mall serves as a testament to humanity's faith in capitalism and consumerism. The swift, though not painless, economic recovery in the Post-Second Impact world came on the backs of many faceless souls. The Grand Mall was built as a monument to the human tenacity to preserving its legacy of wealth and splendor in the form designer and brand name shops.

Naturally, Shinji believed, Asuka being equipped with limitless NERV sanctioned credit would be bound to come here.

"Just a hunch...?" Shinji mumbled as he began moving away from Rei, who tightened her grip on his shirt. "Miss Ayanami?"

"I'd like to avoid being separated from you," Rei stated as she looked around in the crowded nightlife of the Grand Mall. "I feel uncomfortable with so many people," the Second Child explained as she clung closer to Shinji. The boy in question was left in shock.

"Ah..." Shinji gently removed Rei's bandaged hand from his sleep and opened his palm to hers. "Here," Shinji offered with a slight smile.

Rei blinked. "What am I to do?"

"Um... hold my hand? It'll keep us from being separated. Asuka did it when I was scared... so..." Shinji's voice trailed off.

"I see," Rei said as she took the Third Child's warm hand. "It's sweaty."

"Oh, sorry," Shinji apologized as he attempted to withdraw.

"It's fine," Rei assured. It was unexpectedly pleasant to feel the Third Child's skin on hers despite the damp. She gripped it tightly.

"But still," Shinji murmured. "Where could she have gone?"

Just an hour prior, Soryu Asuka Langley had seized the NERV sanctioned limitless credit card from the Third Child like a hawk plucking a rabbit from the open prairie. After making assurances she would return the card after paying for the meal, the red haired pilot vanished leaving the wimpiest and palest Eva pilots to run through a gauntlet of smoked meats, stews and various delicacies. It took a fair bit of time before they realized, Asuka wasn't coming back.

At least she paid for dinner, Shinji sighed.

"Normally, it would be prudent to trust another Eva pilot," Rei commented. "Though the Second Child has a history of such antics."

"A history?" Shinji inquired as they walked through the Flower Wing of the mall, a perpetual spring garden of colorful plants and hanging vines.

"Indeed. I possess a NERV sanctioned limitless credit card myself," Rei explained. "They are explicitly banned for issue to the Second Child."

"W-why?" Shinji asked. He was curious but he could imagine where this was going... Shinji braced himself.

"Within three hours of issue, the Second Child had spent the equivalent of the UN-Former-Falkland-Islands-Now-Falkland-Peninsula' s annual budget. Initially, NERV-HQ were in disbelief the reports that a single person could purchase enough, as Pilot Soryu called it, '_fashionable accessories_' that it required a UN battalion to move the garments to her living quarters in Berlin."

"Wow..." Shinji muttered. "I...don't know where to begin."

"The most peculiar events were after the UN-NERV Joint Judiciary meeting on the matter. They proclaimed the Second Child's stipend was to be strictly monitored. A few hours after the hearing, due to a highly classified incident, an emergency NERV proclamation banned all access to axes within NERV facilities upon urgent request of the UN-to-NERV Advisory Council."

"I'm speechless..."

"Commander Ikari said the same."

"F-father." Shinji froze upon the mention of his father and clutched his hand. Rei winced in response to the increase in pressure.

"Pilot Ikari?" Rei made careful observations upon her fellow pilot and saw budding tears. "Are you wounded?" She asked as she raised her bandaged hand to his cheek.

"S-sorry, Miss Ayanami," Shinji apologized as he wiped his eyes and brushed away Rei's hand. "You know my father?" Shinji turned his attention to the First Child.

"Yes."

"What... is he like?" Shinji wondered as they continued in leisurely pace through the promenade of flora in various hues.

"Warm," Rei stated. "Delicate. Hostile to those who cross him or those he cares about."

Shinji winced at the thought. Were they really talking of the same person? "I never knew him that way..."

"Commander Ikari is a human being. It was my understanding that all humans are complex beings. What I've experienced is not what you've experienced."

"You're right, Miss Ayanami," Shinji smiled though a hinge of sadness rested in his voice. "You're absolutely right," he said solemnly.

"Pilot Ikari, are you sure nothing is the matter?"

"Just call me Shinji." The boy released Rei's hand and realized the dampness of his hands. "Here. Sorry," apologized as he offered Rei a handkerchief. Such a cold feeling in the hands, Rei thought as she took the handkerchief.

"Shinji," Rei repeated. "Shinji."

"Yeah?" Shinji breathed a sigh as his thoughts drifted to a childhood lost.

"May I hold your hand again?" Rei requested as she looked at the Third Child with a blank expression on her face.

"W-why?" Shinji questioned in confusion.

"It was enjoyable," Rei explained before tilting her head. "Did you not find it enjoyable?"

"N-no. It was nice," Shinji soft smile turned to a frown. "It's just that sometimes I feel like I'm destined to be alone."

Rei blinked.

"M-Miss A-Ayanami?" Shinji stammered out as he watched the pale pilot bring her free hand to her neck. With a swift sleight of hand, Rei masterfully undid the red ribbon that wrapped around her collar and brought it twirling between her fingers.

"Your hand, please," Rei commanded and Shinji complied.

"What is this, Miss Ayanami?" Shinji looked down as his hand and Rei's hand were slowly being wrapped by the thin red cloth.

"'_The red string of fate_'," Rei quoted from a book she had read on the subject. "Also known as '_the_ _red thread_' or '_the red string of destiny_'."

"Why did you..." Rei interjected and answered, anticipating the question.

"In East Asian cultures, it believed the Gods tie red strings between two persons destined to meet. It has its origins in Chinese mythology but was soon adapted by Japanese myths. The red string ties two souls in an inseparable destiny, Pilot Ikari." Rei paused before correcting herself. "Shinji," she finished.

"Thanks, Miss Ayanami," Shinji smiled, it was a pleasant feeling.

"Rei."

"Rei?"

"You allow me the honor to address you by your given name. I wish to return the favor," Rei explained. "Shinji," she finished.

"Ah... thanks, Rei," Shinji agreed as he felt Rei's gentle fingertips that bound their hands together.

"Shinji."

"Yes, Miss Aya-I mean-Rei?"

"Do you feel people are bound to meet by destiny?"

"I guess?"

Rei blinked. "I see," Rei gently gripped Shinji's hand as she caught something in the corner of her eye. "I believe Pilot Soryu is within the vicinity."

"R-really?" Shinji looked around and seeing nothing more than an upscale mall. "How do you figure?"

"Numerous shop attendants are smiling and appear elated, suggesting they've experienced something pleasurable. Most likely a grand purchase. Numerous stores have signs stating they are out of a particular size that fits precisely the Second Child's measurements. Finally, there is a person walking over there with a broken camera and numerous slaps to his face while muttering he would found a church to herald the '_Coming of the Red Goddess_'."

"Oh."

"Why do you wish to find Pilot Soryu, Shinji?"

"Um... more like I'd like Mister Kaji's card back? Miss Soryu is probably spending her way to Mongolia by now..." Shinji laughed nervously, unsure what he meant. It was a joke. Okay, Shinji is pretty bad at jokes too.

Rei tugged Shinji along the flowery mall corridors looking at the shops and wares in mild curiosity. "Why would Pilot Soryu exhaust so much resources on such frivolous expenditures?" Rei wondered as she looked at the varied selection of fabrics and materials. Colorful arrangements in various skins and fibers. Such an incredible plethora of clothing. They stopped in front of a wedding boutique and Rei pressed her bandaged hand to glass of the display. From her view, her pale hands nearly blended in with the whiteness of the dress. For what purpose was this great variety in clothing?

"To look pretty, I guess?" Shinji shrugged. "You might want to ask her that... I'm not exactly the best at figuring what goes on in her head."

"For what purpose would one wish to look pretty?"

"To impress a guy, maybe? I really don't know."

"Impress a guy?" Rei's eyes slightly opened at the thought.

"To make him your boyfriend? Rei... I'm not very good on this topic..."

Rei brought a finger to her lips as she walked hand in hand with her fellow pilot. Her partner was currently scanning the area of any signs of the red haired pilot. Perhaps due to being mentally occupied elsewhere, Shinji had proven inept at providing decisive answers though it was to be expected. However, it was a pleasant sensation to feel his fingers on hers, Rei mused. It was warm. The aura of the mall relaxed her blood stream and the lack of sterile hospital odor enabled less saturation of the senses to enjoy the more carnal sensations.

This is nice, Rei summarized the feeling of paradise.

"_What the hell are you two doing_?"

And paradise was lost.

"A-Asuka!" Shinji exclaimed before receiving a knock to the head.

The red demon pilot was before them, dressed in a newly purchased white dress with flowers and floral patterns around her. A pair of matching flowery hairpins replaced the exotic neural clips. Perhaps she would look lovelier without the scowl and burning rage plastered over her face.

"It's _Miss Soryu_. Call me Asuka again and I'll make a eunuch out of you, yet." Asuka glared at the point of contact between her two fellow pilots. "Assuming you have anything left danging between your legs after this...," she muttered at the sight. An acute angle formed between their hands, tied in a red string. What was this? Some kind of barbarian mating ritual?

"Miss Soryu?"

"What's with the red knot and hand holding?" Asuka growled.

"It is to emphasize our destined relationship, Pilot Soryu," Rei explained as she tightened her grip on Shinji's hand.

"_Destined_ relationship? What do you know about any of that?" The distance between the faces of the two female pilots were reduced to near nothing. The fiery growl and flared nostrils of the red haired pilot was well matched against the calm and composed paced breaths of the pale pilot.

"That Shinji and myself are in such a relationship," Rei stated as she tightened her grip.

"_Shinji_, now is it... First name basis with a deviant?" Rei frowned. Shinji motioned Rei to stop giving a response, realizing the situation grew more tense as the onlookers gathered.

"Hey is that kid two-timing?" A mall rat asked to his friend. "With a pair of babes like those..."

"No way in hell. He looks like a squid with that backbone," his friend replied.

"Dude... Squids have backbones," the first mall rat stated.

"They're invertebrates, bro. They don't have backbones. Do you even biology?" Shinji shrunk from the attention.

"Miss Soryu, I need Mister Kaji's card. It was my responsibility to keep it safe." Asuka gave Shinji a dull look. It read of '_are you serious_?'

"Ditch the blue haired girl and I'll _think_ about handing the card back," Asuka stated.

"Asuka, I don't-"

"That is acceptable," Rei interjected.

"Rei, you don't have to," Shinji reasoned as he felt Rei's hand leave his own, the string now hanging limply from the pale pilot's fingertips. How cold, Rei thought to herself as she brought the red cloth back to her neck and returned it to her collar. Perhaps the mission could still be accomplished.

"Do you trust me, Shinji?" Shinji nodded before cringing at sharp increase of killing intent from a red haired demon beside him.

"Of course." Rei closed her eyes, satisfied that her mission was complete but it felt hollow and lacking...

"Then all is well. I'll depart for home," and with that, Rei hastily turned to leave. Before Shinji gripped her on the shoulders.

"Farewell, Rei," Shinji waved with a smile.

"Farewell, Shinji. Farewell to you as well, Pilot Soryu," to which Asuka replied with a cheek-inflated puff.

"Later, doll-face," Asuka muttered towards her rival who closed her eyes to the comment.

And so, Rei was gone. Shinji stood watching as he back vanished into the crowd of onlookers, most gawking at the sight of Asuka and the drama unfurling before them. Asuka puffed and waved her hands, telling the crowd to disperse before she start cutting some male appendages off from root to stem.

"Alright you lovesick puppy," Asuka mocked towards her new found shopping partner. "I've still got half a mall to hit before my hand starts getting tired of his card."

"Okay, Miss Soryu-_ah_!" Shinji cried as he was tugged into the deepest reaches within the bosom of the Tokyo-3 Grand Mall.

* * *

"Hey, _deviant_. How does this one look?" Asuka asked as she threw back the changing room curtains and twirled in a fluffy red dress.

"It looks good on you Asuka," Shinji mumbled. Like the last two hundred or so outfits...

Asuka squealed before turning to the shop attendant. "This as well, please."

"Of course," the attendant bowed and exited the room at a controlled pace before breaking out in a gallop to add another item to the account. Shinji sighed. For the past hour Asuka had been doing nothing but trying on dresses of various fashions before asking Shinji of his opinion of it.

And each time Shinji would respond the exact same way: '_it looks good on you, Asuka_'. As does everything, Asuka thought to herself with a smirk every time.

"How about this one, idiot?" Asuka swayed side to side in a fanciful green dress with clover patterns.

Shinji mumbled the same words again. Asuka asked for this to be also added to be ever expanding tab.

They had found a high-end boutique of designer fashions with a selection Shinji wouldn't able to sort through even in a marathon pace. Asuka, however, burned through it at dazzling speed. The boutique was also favored by Asuka because it held a private changing room with a centered elevated platform for the changing room and a lower platform for observers.

"_Aye_! I'm out of stuff to try. Bring me more!"

"You heard her!" The shop attendant clapped to a few girls on hand for such purposes. They had little time to laze about, as they were bringing in a fresh and steady stream of new fashions for their fast-becoming-best patroness to try on.

"I haven't got all day," Asuka growled from behind the curtain. The shop attendant threw out a shout for the underlings to hasten.

Shinji sat, looking decisively whipped, on a patterned sofa as Asuka retreated back to a nether portal of velvet curtains and returned each time appearing different yet so familiarly beautiful. A starry eyed shop attendant, who knew she was going to be paid handsomely by commission, stood waiting beside Shinji. She was eagerly awaiting each summons by her red haired patron for another addition to her growing list of purchases.

"She's quite beautiful. Isn't she?" The shop attendant mused softly to Shinji.

"Yeah... she is," Shinji murmured as he looked at the rather young shop attendant. Maybe a decade or so older than himself who was fourteen. She, in a rather modest dress compared to the ones Asuka had been exhibiting, giggled softly at Shinji's lack of enthusiasm.

"I suppose when you're around such an outrageous beauty constantly, it does wear the senses, eh?"

"I've only known her two days," Shinji admitted shyly. The attendant gasped and brought a hand to her mouth.

"Two days and already you're her boyfriend?"

"Wh-what? No! I'm just... a guy she works with, I guess." The attendant narrowed her eyes.

"I don't know any girls who bring co-workers they just met on shopping sprees," the attendant commented. "Are you sure you two aren't a pair?"

"I just have something she wants." Shinji looked back at the curtain, a wall of steel that separated them. "I'm positive she doesn't think much of me."

"Hey there, don't be so down," the attendant began to sooth Shinji in a seductive voice. "Maybe after she lets go of you, I'll..."

Shinji gulped as the attendant leaned towards him, providing an ample view of her chest. Shinji noted to himself the color difference between the soft cream of her face and the paleness of her bosom. He gulped hard.

"Y-you'll?" Shinji gulped. He felt blood rushing to his head and body. A fight or flight panic induced response.

Before Shinji knew it, he was on his back with a rather young and ravishing shop attendant pinning him down.

"I'll..." Shinji's face turned crimson as she whispered suggestions that only a man and a woman who love each other very, very much should ever consider doing. And even then that would be after a protracted period of harsh psychological counseling, a diet and fitness training regime along with a good strong bottle of Polish vodka.

"Hey idiot, where are the clothes I asked... _what are you two doing_?" Asuka's head peaked from the behind the velvet curtains. From what Shinji could see, a raging inferno of pure and unbridled anger would not begin to match the fiery storm focusing itself on the red demon's face.

"Ah, my apologies revered customer," the shop attendant began as she recomposed herself. "Forgive me for the misunderstanding. I tripped and your _boyfriend_ caught me." Asuka's rage dissipated at the mention of a potential relationship between herself and Shinji and threw the curtain over her face.

"_W-we aren't like that_! And he's definitely not my boyfriend! Just get the clothes already, dammit," Asuka fumed from behind her thin cloth wall.

The shop attendant smiled as a pair of female workers brought in a bundle of clothes to the curtain, before a long arm snatched them away with a flap of the curtain.

"Isn't she a difficult one?"

"Y-yeah..." Shinji concurred uncomfortably as the shop attendant sat down beside him and grazed the skin of their hands together. "Miss...?"

"Yes?" The shop attendant mused innocently as she scooted closer to him. "Is something the matter?" She asked leaning ever closer. Shinji tasted her lemony scented breath. His shirt was slowly becoming drench in sweat. "Your shirt looks dirty. We have a male selection in the store, though our female catalog dwarfs it by far. I could have someone fetch you a nice shirt..."

"N-no thank you," Shinji squirmed under her presence as her face approached his.

"_Yo_."

Oh thank the heavens, Shinji praised. Asuka's face was once again a bodiless ornament atop a plane of velvet cloth. "Yes?" The attendant responded as she composed herself again sitting beside Shinji, noticeably closer than before.

"Get me a drink. Something complicated. _Make it yourself_," Asuka ordered with poorly disguised venom in her voice. "A thirty minute drink," Asuka added.

"Ah. But customer... I..."

"Tell your manager I'll pay double for the next dozen dresses."

"Right away," the attendant agreed as she rose from the sofa.

"Take your worker-bees with you. I'd like some privacy." The attendant nodded and dragged the pair of workers standing idly by with her. She gave a wink to Shinji before she finally vanished with a soft thud of the door.

"Damned cougar..." Asuka complained as she eyed the closed door. "Hey idiot," Asuka said, turning her addition to Shinji.

"Y-yes, Miss Soryu?" Shinji replied nervously as Asuka gestured him into the curtain.

"Get over here," Asuka grumbled a command. Shinji's eyes widened with a blush. "I-It's to help me zip up a dress! Goddamn pervert..."

"Coming," Shinji sighed. Obviously it was for that... The Third Pilot climbed up the elevated floor towards the central changing room curtain before being roughly pulled inside.

Did a tornado touch down here, Shinji wondered at the sight. Articles of clothing were strewn about haphazardly about the spacious changing room. Shinji could not tell the difference between a pretty towel rag or a mesh of the finest silks from the piles formed ringing Asuka's center position. A series of wall hung mirrors allowed Asuka complete view of her selection from every angel she desired.

"What are you waiting around for, pervert?" Shinji gulped at his proximity to half-dressed foreign goddess. Her arm held up the front part of a black dress as the lack hung lazily unzipped and unsecured. A momentary slip of the arm and the entire ensemble would be undone.

"S-sorry," Shinji murmured taking in the sight. Asuka slapped him with moderate force.

"Better keep your eyes focused and thoughts pure, idiot," Asuka cautioned as Shinji rubbed his cheek. Asuka turned around.

"W-wow..." Asuka blushed at the reaction before muttering a few derogatory comments and turning about to reveal her backside. The pale smoothness of her slim back was consistently even from her neck to the base of her spine. On either side of her covered ribs were black fabric, silk most likely, with a zipper resting at the top of the red demon's bottom.

"Hurry with it, idiot," Asuka commanded in a low voice.

"Okay..." Shinji reached over and fumbled with the zipper, taking care to avoid pressing onto Asuka's rear with his hands.

"Touch me and you're dead, pervert," she warned as Shinji struggled to close the zipper. "What's wrong?"

It was stuck.

"It's no good..."

"What's taking so long?" Asuka asked in a temperamental voice.

"It's stuck, Miss Soryu." Asuka sighed.

"I can't hold this dress up forever. My arms are going to fall asleep on me." Asuka, holding the dress up with one arm, grabbed one of Shinji's hands and placed it on her hips. "I'll forgive this transgression _this_ time, deviant. Just zip it up." Shinji nodded, blushing at the contact with her flesh covered in thin cloth. Yet he found the zipper to produce a tenacious resistance. Asuka's closed her eyes in a disappointed sigh.

"It just doesn't seem to want to..."

_Riiiip_!

Clothes and fashion sense are not Ikari Shinji's strong points. Neither is his understanding of how delicate some of the more fashionable items of wear are. Shinji looked the palm of his hand. By some miracle of luck or residue of design, the Third Child held the cloth that covered the rear of the dress. The torn fabric was still warm from the Second Child'd body heat. Speaking of the Second Child...

"What was that..." Asuka's eyes glanced at a mirror that revealed an unsettling reality. Ikari Shinji. Holding torn piece of cloth covering the rear of her dress. She saw her exposed bottom with the same pale consistency as her neck and backside.

Well, that explains the slight breeze between the legs.

"M-Miss Soryu! I'm sorry. So sorry. Sorry-sorry-sorry-sorry!" Shinji cringed, arms raised with the torn fabric still in hand, as he prepared for the murderous intent of the fiery pilot to suffocate him and throw his butchered remains downstream of a dam.

"_Ikari Shinji_," Asuka whispered as she turned around slowly and methodically. Every single joint creaked in anticipation of the brutalities she was about to commit.

"Miss Soryu! I'm sorry! Please!" Shinji leaped back and tumbled into a chest high mountain of clothes.

"_I. Am. Going. To. Axe. Murd_-"

"Miss honorable customer?" A voice from outside the changing room curtain asked. "Your friend seems to have disappeared. We've brought fresh clothes."

Asuka immediately turned her attention towards the incoming voice. Shinji thanked the heavens before realizing the dark scowl at Asuka's face. Soon, the Third Child was being drowned in a pile of discarded and nearly-forgotten clothing. So, Shinji thought to himself, Asuka decided to end me through asphyxiation via clothing. Fitting, Shinji sighed to himself.

In short order, the Third Child was covered from head to toe in his on body weight of clothing. By some luck or fiery pilot's design, a small face hole allowed him to peek out into the changing room and offer some hair despite the rising temperature within Shinji's clothing coffin.

"Y-yes?" Asuka shyly replied to the shop attendant who opened the curtain with a gasp.

"Dear customer! What happened to this dress?"

"Oh, I was a bit too rough with the zipper. I'll purchase it at double the price. Did you get the drink I asked for?" Asuka hurriedly asked.

"Yes, yes... Please do be careful, dear customer. It would pain us if your purchases consisted primarily of destroyed clothing," the attendant replied with a feign voice of worry as she set down a plate of drink by the table. With a clap of her hands, a pair of workers began retrieving discarded mounds of clothing while bringing in a fresh batch for the Second Child to try.

Shinji began to sweat more so than before as a worker approached towards his clothing fort.

"_Ah_! That won't be necessary," Asuka humored as she stopped a worker from beginning to work at the base of Mount-Shinji-Is-Under-This-Pile-Of-Clothes. "I would still like to go back and try those on again in due time. Just leave the selections here. Your taste is fantastic by the way," Asuka commended.

"I am honored to hear your praise," the attendant thanked. "Why do you stay in that rag and cover yourself like you're indecent? We are all women here," the attendant mused with a gesture towards the pair of workers who forcibly giggled at her joke.

"Ah...haha..." Asuka laughed off quietly. She had clutched the flaps of her dress to wrap around the torn bottom with one hand and held up the dress with the other. Though unintentional, or unintentional as Asuka was concerned, the breathing hole she allowed Shinji to keep also offered her full view of her body. And in a room surrounded by mirrors, also from every which angle.

But clearly, this attendant couldn't know that.

"Oh don't be so modest, honored customer. Allow me to assist you," and in a flash, Asuka stood bare in a changing room with a pair of white panties and her arms for decency. "Were you always this shy? My apologies," the attendant said with a bow. "I was having a good bit of fun... forgive me."

"It's fine..." Asuka assured as she carefully picked up an embroidered white button up shirt and threw it around herself. "Just get out of here. I'll call you when I'm finished."

"Of course, dear customer," the attendant bowed as she motioned the pair of workers to leave. "But we still do not know where your companion is."

Asuka winced at the mention of Shinji. "I don't care where he is. He's an _idiot-dork-scum-of-the-earth_," Asuka huffed in a quiet voice. Shinji felt like a spike drove through his weak and fragile heart. The tears forming on his eyes irritated him, compounded with the inability to wipe them due to the weight of the clothing atop of him.

"Really? I found him quite charming, actually, dear customer..." The attendant smiled. "If he is not _yours_, then I suppose I'll try _my_ hand at gaining him."

Snatching the former dress of a rag, Asuka threw the destroyed dress at Mount Shinji, blocking the air and viewing hole. Shinji panicked. He felt the air becoming thinner and thinner by the second along with the incremental rise in temperature. He could _die_ in here. He could see the morning headlines now, '_Boy Dies in Clothing Avalanche_' or something clever like that. Shinji was not very good with naming things.

And with this in mind, he did not hear the words being exchanged by the two females a few steps away.

"_That_ idiot?" Asuka approached the elder female, letting her blood lust get the best of her. "Sorry, but you aren't his type."

The attendant raised a eyebrow to challenge that notion. "Is that so? I was under the impression you two weren't close." The attendant crossed her arms, making sure to boast the ample cleavage she could sport in comparison to the underdeveloped but still growing Second Child clad in nothing but a button up shirt and panties.

"We've shared life and death moments," Asuka fudged. It was really just once.

"In a matter of days?" Asuka stood back by the knowledge the attendant held. "He wasso polite and truthful about his relationship with you."

"Is he now?" Asuka growled.

"He detests you, you know. He thinks you the most horrid person with the way you treat him," the attendant pressed her chest against the Second Child's chest. The height difference was negligible as they stood nose to nose in a contest of beauty and charm. "He could do _much_ better."

Asuka replied with a flip of her flowing red hair.

"The wimpy little twerp worships me like a goddess," Asuka stated. At least she thought, Shinji did.

"That cute little charm of yours may work on lesser minds and boys," the attendant lectured. "But I see much more than a boy in your companion..." the attendant finished with a lick of her lips.

"Was it always your job to seduce young boys?"

"Especially ones with money." Asuka choked at the comment from the hilarity. "What...?" The attendant looked befuddled by the reaction.

"You think he's_ rich_! That's...just... _so rich_!" Asuka laughed hysterically.

"Why else would you bring such a useless wimp here?" The red pilot changed her expressions instantly.

"No one. And I mean _no one_, calls him a '_useless wimp_' but me." Asuka glared as she brought her nose to touch the attendant's face. "So unless you want me to cut my patronage here short and pay for what I've got on my tab then take my business elsewhere because of a particular _someone_ so your manager can lose out on a fortune of commissions, _please continue_."

The attendant backed slightly and twitched her brow before bowing slightly. "As you say, honorable customer," she hissed. Greed triumphs over lust this time.

"Now get out," Asuka ordered with a twirl, making sure the tail ends of the shirt whipped against the attendant. "I need to assess this selection, _privately_."

"As you wish," and with that the attendant vanished from the changing room. Asuka sighed with a breath of relief as she heard the door to the private changing room slam shut loudly in anger. Now that was taken care of...

"Idiot you still... " Asuka became startled at the sight as she unearthed Shinji from the clothing coffin. "Oh shi-"

Shinji was shriveled and red from water loss due to sweat and gasping for air.

"M-M-Miss S-S-Sor-" Shinji panted as Asuka grabbed the nearly forgotten drink, an overly complicated iced tea, and poured it down Shinji's parched throat.

"Drink, idiot," Asuka cursed at herself for her negligence for nearly suffocating the boy as she gently tilted the glass so he the cold liquid drained down his throat.

"Th-thank you," Shinji murmured as he began to regain his composure from the dizziness. "Thought I was going to suffocate under that," Shinji gestured towards his former coffin of designer fashions and fabrics.

"Yeah, sorry," Asuka apologized. "It would have looked improper," she reasoned.

"What would have?" Shinji asked as he rubbed his oily and sweaty hair. He was going to need a shower soon...

"Girl with a torn dress, guy holding part of torn dress in a changing room?" Asuka explained with a dull look of disappointment in the Third Child.

"Oh..._ Oh_!" Shinji's eyes went wide at the prospect of stumbling onto that. "That would have been bad." Asuka rolled her eyes. Well, _duh_.

"Best case scenario is that they think we're a bunch of teenagers on a hormonal overload trip. Worst case scenario... and you're not just going to be a sex deviant in my book but every UN sex offender database from here to Tanzania. Wouldn't want that now would we, _pervert_?"

"Ah... you're right Miss Soryu," Shinji concurred as he bowed. Asuka was taken aback by the show of respect. "Thank you."

"H-hey it's fine," Asuka assured, unnerved by the display, as she approached to place a hand on his shoulder. "It's cool," she waved off. "Well," Asuka began, hoping to change the topic. "I've still got a hundred or so dresses to try," she motioned for the changing room exit.

Shinji smiled. "They'll all look good on you," he praised at the expense of the composure of the Second Child.

"_Really_," Asuka murmured as Shinji placed his hand on the curtain.

"You're like a doll, Asuka," Shinji commented. "You'll look pretty no matter how-"

The Third Child was interrupted by a lightning fast grasp to his collar and his face brought nose to nose against Asuka's. He could feel her ragged breath on his nose, his neck inflamed from the Second Child's claws skinning him as she caught him as he looked into her eyes full of anger and disgust.

"_Don't ever call me that, again_."

"Wh-what? You mean a doll?" Shinji felt his body lifted up before Asuka growled an affirmation.

Before he knew it, Shinji was sent hurling out of the changing room. Shinji was sent tumbling down the platform steps and rolled onto a sofa. Right next a certain aggressive shop attendant.

"So there you were," the attendant stated as she sipped an ice tea. There was a hint of bitterness in her voice but no ounce of surprise.

"Miss..." Shinji tried to explain how he flew out of the changing room before a slender finger was pressed to his lips.

"I knew it..." The attendant sighed. "And you said there was nothing going on between you two."

Shinji gasped. "No! There isn't!"

"I knew you were in there so I decided to slam the door shut to make you think I left. Alas. There, there," the attendant attempted to cease Shinji's fuss and clapped her hands. An aged woman with a hearty girth, wide childbearing hips and a face Shinji would never find attractive appeared at the doorway. "Madam manager, as it was suspected."

The elderly woman gave Shinji an accusatory eye. "Wh-what?" Shinji exclaimed.

"Guest," the madam manger approached, "this is a respectable establishment. This room is meant for the evaluation of dresses before purchase, not so a pair of lovestruck hormonal teenagers can use as their fantasy love hotel."

"L-love hotel?" Shinji cried. "No! This is all a big misunderstanding." The attendant shook her head with a _tisk, tisk_.

"Look at yourself," the manager recommended. Shinji found himself sweaty and disheveled. Almost as if hastily put on...

"It's not what it looks like!"

"Customer," the large madam addressed, "I won't have my establishment be some bordello for undisciplined youth."

"B-but!"

"We should cut their tab now, manager. Call the police for such abuse of the premises. Perhaps file a lawsuit as well. An expensive one," the attendant recommended. "Public fornication is highly frowned upon." The attendant licked her lips before whispering to Shinji, "_though as exciting as it may be..._"

"Yes, that would be most prudent," said the madam as she turned to climb the platform steps. "Miss customer, I'm afraid I'll have to inform you..." the madam manager began telling Asuka the details of their eventual arrest.

"I can get you out of this," the attendant offered as she learned towards Shinji, causing him to fall back on the sofa. "But it'll cost you."

Shinji looked at her, surprised at the offer. "R-really?"

"Yes... all it'll take is..." the attendant whispered something into Shinji's ear. The poor child never knew numbers could go that high.

"That's ridiculous!" Shinji cried.

"Not as ridiculous as this," Asuka stated as stood atop the platform with the velvet curtain wrapped around her chest, held by a single arm. Shinji gulped at the view of her bare shoulders and collar. She could be naked under there for all he knew. Asuka turned her attention towards the madam manager before gesturing her closer. The elderly woman approached, cautious and was whispered something into her ear. Her eyes lit up in an instant.

"Oh honored guest..." she moaned in soft ecstasy as she departed, squealing along the way.

"Wh-what the..." the attendant watched as her manger skipped off. The young attendant then felt the pressure of Asuka's fury on her back as she slowly turned her head to face the red demon draped in velvet.

"Everyone has their price," Asuka lectured as she twirled her hair with her free hand. "All the dresses in my size range in this store and I can use this room however I want. With _whomever_, I want," Asuka glared.

"Disgusting," the attendant retorted. "Absolutely disgusting."

"What's more disgusting is that I'm paying ten percent extra on all the dresses. You're also fired." Asuka cursed as she found a split end in her hair. "Now I have to go to the beauty parlor... _Argh._ I hate having to find a new salon in such a boring town."

"You...," the attendant stood up enraged, "who do you think _you_ are?"

Asuka flipped her hair. "The goddess of all creation," was her response. "Queen of the universe. The mistress of perfection. Any variation of that is acceptable," she grinned at the boiling anger stewing within the attendant.

"I...I'll..."

"_You'll_?" Asuka dared.

The attendant felt the icy glare of the Second Child begin to overwhelm her. She apologized in feigned sincerity and left with a slam door behind her and a simple, "farewell". Followed closely after a string of curses referencing female dogs in heat, trees that grew dung for fruit and abusers of free samples at local grocery stores and other various atrocities.

Shinji released a sigh of relief. Asuka continued her groan over her split end.

"Seriously. It's a pain to have to find a new parlor..." the Second Child lamented.

"Miss Soryu..."

"What is it dork?" Asuka didn't lift her head from examining closely the split end. "Oh thank god, it's just two hairs."

"Oh... sorry, never mind," Shinji apologized. He was unsure as to how to comment on the Second Child's display of dominance.

"Hey idiot," Asuka grinned. "Interested?" She teased as she gestured towards the curtain. Shinji blushed at the realization the only thing separating Asuka from decency and indecency was a thin velvet cloth.

"I...I..."

"Ready for a treat?" Asuka teased. "This curtain is _oh so_ heavy." Shinji brought his hands up to his eyes in embarrassment.

"Miss Soryu, please!" Shinji cried. Asuka sighed.

"What a boring little boy," Asuka stated as she released the curtain.

Shinji heard soft steps approach him as a slender figure descended the platform. He kept his eyes shut, not wanting to offend the goddess slowly approaching him.

"Miss Soryu, please!"

"Open your eyes, idiot," Asuka ordered with a roll of her eyes.

A strapless evening gown. "Oh," was Shinji's dull response as he peeked from his eyes and slowly released his hand blindfold.

"That's it? _That's it_?" Just an '_oh_'. No '_you're as majestic as the night sky_' or nothing. Just '_oh_'. Are you kidding me?" Asuka contested angrily with arms on her hips.

"You look good in anything, Miss Soryu."

The red haired pilot immediately turned away from him.

"I-is that so... _Obviously_! Obviously I look good in anything. Yeah!" Asuka laughed with a folding of her arms looking away from a confused Shinji. "Alright, dork. We've got this room to ourselves for the rest... however long I feel like and I've still got a dozen rack of dresses to burn through and I'm going to need commentary on."

"Of course, Miss Soryu."

"Just call me, Asuka," Asuka ordered without a glance back at the Third Child as she skipped up the platform steps and disappeared behind the velvet curtains.

"Asuka..." Shinji murmured as the red haired girl threw apart the curtains and appeared a ravishingly beautiful red floral dress.

"How's it look?" Asuka asked with a twirl and a wink.

* * *

"Come along now, dork," Asuka prodded along with a smile as she took hold of Shinji's hand.

"Y-yes! But slow down, please! Asuka!"

Ignorant to the stumbling Third Child, the red haired beauty was entranced by the Tokyo-3 nightlife. After Asuka had paid off the boutique handsomely with NERV backed credit and stuck her tongue out one final time at the now unemployed shop attendant, the Second Child decided to take in the sights. With her excessive purchases scheduled for delivery to NERV storage holdings, Asuka, wearing a pleasantly flowing yellow dress was now strolling the streets with Shinji in tow. The ambient lights and distant hum of construction in perpetual operations gave a feel of a city constantly growing.

Truly, a city that never sleeps.

"Hey, idiot! There's an arcade!" Asuka glowed at the thought of beating some punks in a fighting game, scoring a few teddy bears at a claw machine, or being spun by Shinji in a rhythmic dancing game. That would be such a nice evening... Asuka shook her head, scratch that last thought before telling her companion an irrefutable, "let's go!"

The evening crowd was larger than expected. Some played for fun. Others to forget. Most to pass the time in leisure and spectate the fighting matches. With the recent Angel attack, many believed there would not be one for a while. Tokyo-3 couldn't possibly have such horrid luck as to be attacked twice in a matter of days, right?

"Wow..." Shinji muttered as the pair entered the Suzuki Arcade.

The exterior of the arcade displayed brilliant neon signs and a towering structure. There was no tackiness in figurines that dotted the rooftops. Even Shinji had to admit, he did not expect the interior to contain so many attractions.

"Oh yes," Asuka said as she released Shinji's hand. Rubbing her palms together in anticipation she ran off towards the nearest coin machine to gain her tokens. "Keep up, idiot," Asuka shouted, urging the boy to follow her through the crowd.

Shinji followed hurriedly, not wanting to lose her. Before he knew it, the nonathletic boy was panting and the Second Child no longer in his sights.

"Where... could she have gone?" Shinji wondered aloud to himself in between deep breaths.

"You need to exercise, kiddo," came Asuka's voice as she handed him a cold fountain soda with straw. "Sip it and follow," Asuka said with a toss of a handful of coins that she caught as they came down. "I've got a few butts to kick," she grinned as she turned over towards the fighting arcade section.

"Why do you rush to places so fast, Asuka?" Shinji asked as he quietly sipped his drink. The momentum of the crowd slowly widening the gap between the two.

"I don't plan on dying anytime, soon." Asuka looked behind her and saw Shinji's pace slacken. Taking his hand, she continued, "but I always feel like there's a rush to finish things. I just want to experience everything and be the first at it. The _best_ at it."

"Oh," Shinji mused quietly to himself before he came to a realization. He hesitated a moment before asking, "is...is that why Mister Kaji is your boyfriend?"

Asuka cringed at the reminder of her earlier statement."W-well, yeah! He's quite _experienced_, you know!" She laughed off much to the expense of the Third Child. Asuka felt Shinji's grip on her hand slacken.

"I see..." the boy said sadly. His brooding was cancelled with a flick to the head.

"Stop that frown. Today's my first night here in Tokyo-3 where I wasn't beating the living crap out of an Angel. And I expect it to be _a fun-filled night_, ya hear?"

"Y-yes, Asuka," Shinji agreed as Asuka released him.

"_Attention all arcade goers, we will beginning the Suzuki Arcade Grand Championship shortly. Please head to the nearest..._"

"Hear that, wimp? Death's a' knockin'."

"Yeah..." Shinji shrunk before the intense glow being emitted from the Second Child. She marched off to a fighting game seat occupied by a chubby regular. A tap of the shoulder, flick of the hair and a request given in sweet voice and the seat was hers.

"Soryu Asuka Langley," she dictated as she typed her name into the machine. "Hey, get over here idiot," Asuka called out.

"Yes?" Shinji approached before Asuka pulled him beside him.

"Watch and learn," Asuka stated as she cracked her knuckles. The game displayed various options and perks. None of which Shinji could make sense of.

"What are you doing, Asuka?" Shinji inquired. "Actually, what game is this?"

"Beats me. Looks like I shoot stuff," Asuka shrugged as the game started, revealing a rocky and mountainous terrain.

"It looks... dangerous, Asuka," Shinji advised as Asuka hummed and skipped into a dark forest as anti-fire howled in the distance.

"Probably, oh hey look. An enemy. _Ha_! Dead!" Asuka laughed manically as a small crowd began forming around the red beauty and arcade game prodigy. "That move would have been easier if I wasn't stuck to a joystick, though," Asuka mused as she flexed her hands, wishing for virtual reality gloves.

Shinji wondered if Asuka was capable of hurling a trench knife a quarter of a kilometer into the air into a helicopter cockpit and land precisely at the pilot's crotch.

Then again, he shuddered, probably.

"I think that's a health-pack, Asuka," Shinji noted from behind the red goddess.

"Good eye, idiot. Guess voyeurs are good at spotting things, eh?" Asuka laughed.

"Hey..." Shinji was not amused.

"It was a joke you big baby," Asuka yawned over the sound of machine gun fire.

"Asuka... aren't there like fifty guys shooting at you?" Shinji wasn't even sure where the bullets were coming from.

"Beats me," Asuka shrugged as she masterfully dodged bullets, grenades and shoulder-mounted rockets. "I think someone's throwing onions at me," Asuka observed as she dodged the white bulb vegetables hurling past her character.

"How are you dodging all of that?" Asuka laughed at the comment.

"Didn't you go through NERV basic training? This is day two." Shinji shook his head.

"I didn't think any army had basic training like that."

"Wait... so you mean you can't do a back-flip hatchet throw through two flaming hoops over a net of barbwire?"

"_No_," Shinji confessed much to Asuka's shock.

"How did someone like you become an Eva pilot," Asuka wondered a loud as she realized her character was armed with a plastic fork and an American Revolutionary War antique musket. "Good enough for me," Asuka giggled as she began screaming "_banzai_!" into the air thick with guns and tracer rounds committing herself to a bayonet charge with a plastic-fork-mounted-musket.

Several raging defeated regulars later, Asuka had easily qualified for the first round.

"_Muhahaha_! Kneel before your queen and conqueror!" Asuka exclaimed. She had just finished the qualifying match by hurling a hatchet right as a cruise missile exited a submarine launch port, exploding and destroying said submarine. Along with the entire enemy team.

Shinji quiet sipped his soda, hoping to get a refill soon. This was only the beginning of Asuka's rampage tonight.

* * *

**Author Notes**


End file.
